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HELLO KITTY PORN COLLECTION

By Fayner | July 18, 2008

My good friend Taylor Rain is having her baby in about two weeks time. Babies are cute and cool, but I’m kinda glad she tells me I won’t be allowed anywhere near her little girl as it will be my full-time job watching her three rambunctious dogs not to mention I’m a dirty scumbag. And although I hear changing a poop-filled diaper is not a pleasant thing, anyone who knows TR’s mini pit bull Smokie knows taking care of the braindead canine is a much worse task (Just kidding, Smokie, I love you!).

Anyway, living with Staci who is acting as Taylor’s baby shower organizer these past months since they’ve been planning it have been rough to say the least following their decision to use Hello Kitty as the theme. Every day when Taylor comes over the first thing out of Staci’s mouth is, “Oh my God! You have to see this Hello Kitty thing for the baby shower! It’s soooooooo cute!” and then they run off to Staci’s computer and gab away about all the crap Hello Kitty has been willing to add their name to.

And now I’m hearing about a Hello Kitty Pregnant Cake that they’re getting and I’m thinking this has this gone too far.

So I’ve come up with some possible Hello Kitty items that may or may not be coming out as soon as HK Inc. reaches out one of its many tentacles to grab the porn business as the next entity to be overrun by the greedy Asian cat.

The Hello Kitty coke straw and mirror set

The Hello Kitty Black Eye Hider

The Hello Kitty Home STD Testing Kit

The Hello Kitty Repo Man Confuser

The Hello Kitty Enema/Douching Kit

The Hello Kitty Dick-Shooting Needle

The Hello Kitty Excuse Maker

The Hello Kitty Landlord Detector

The Hello Kitty Once A Day Viagra Despenser

The Hello Kitty Hooker Heel Fixer

The Hello Kitty Idiot’s Guide To Porn

 

Can you think of any other good ones I missed?

Topics: Story |

5 Responses to “HELLO KITTY PORN COLLECTION”

  1. NV Says:
    July 18th, 2008 at 5:57 pm

    Here are some hello kitty items. The Hello Kitty vibrator and the AK-47 are real. I don’t think the vibrator is till available though Taylor may want to google it.

    http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa240/neverlose72/Hellokittyvibrator.gif

    http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa240/neverlose72/hello-kitty-assault-rifle-1_thumbna.jpg

    http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa240/neverlose72/hello19943HelloKittyNativitybyTomSa.jpg

    Chill out Japan
    http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa240/neverlose72/hel20001ChillOutJapanv1ByTomSachs.jpg

  2. Darrah Says:
    July 18th, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Vibrators?

  3. topopiperno Says:
    July 19th, 2008 at 4:33 am

    th HK “inflatable best friend”

  4. TAYLOR RAIN Says:
    July 19th, 2008 at 9:03 am

    I ALREADY KNEW ABOUT THOSE ITEMS ON TOP!!! FAYN DID A STORY LAST MONTH ABOUT THE AK-47 I FOUND ONLINE!!!! CRAZY RIGHT!!! ANYWAY TO MAKE A BUCK THESE DAYS!! I THINK IT’S GREAT BUT FOR THE KIDS THAT LOVE IT AND THEY GOOGLE IT AND SHOW THERE PARENTS I THINK IT’S KINDA WRONG CUZ HELLO KITTY IS SUPPOSE TO BE FOR KIDS!!! I USED TO LOVE TO GO TO SANRIO WITH MY 10 DOLLARS AND GO NUTS AND I LOVE IT NOW CUZ IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN!!! HOLLA BACK TO HELLO SHITTY!!!
    TMFR

  5. McX Says:
    July 19th, 2008 at 11:41 am

    The Hello Kitty stoking device powered by Jenny Hendrix!!

    http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=25437369&albumID=1607364&imageID=22721015

    Peace out…

    McX

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