So being that I’m in my mid-30s and single with little or no chance of ever finding a woman, I’ve started looking for single women when I go to the super market for food. I’m well aware I’ll probably never find a good one, and I’m not sure what I would even do if I came across one I actually wanted to meet, but I do it anyway. Call it human nature. Call it desperation. Call it just wanting to have someone take my dogs out to piss at 5 in the morning.
So as luck would have it I came across a smoking hot babe in the soda aisle a week or so back. I was in one of my “I’ll dress up a little today so to at least make an impression that I have a real job” moods, so I didn’t look like the bum I sometimes do.
Next I checked her for a wedding ring, something every man starts doing eventually when they’re single and getting into middle age. No ring. Sweet.
As I reached for the grape soda (buy three 12 packs get two free) I happened to glance over at her shopping cart to see various dog treats and bones inside among all the staples like eggs and frozen waffles. A hot single chick who likes waffles and dogs? Double sweet.
Time to make my move.
And then I saw a huge bag of Kibbles & Bits dog food underneath her cart. Kibbles & Bits? Are you serious? Do people really feed their dogs this crap?
I spend around $70 a month feeding my two dogs. Kibbles & Bits costs $6.99 for a huge bag.
So despite being single and sad and needing a good snuggle I chose not to even approach this gorgeous lass because her choice of dog food repulses me?
Yes.
So either I’m too picky or the women I encounter just plum suck.
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