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PAM ANDERSON WANTS ME
By Fayner | June 23, 2008
So last night Taylor, Keith and I went to see that Zohan movie. Taylor saw it two nights before, but like the pregnant ex-porn superstar told me as we stood in line in Calabasas, “Fuck it! So what if I just saw it! Junk food, air conditioning and a giant television! Holla!!!”
After the movie, we’re walking down the aisle and I see a hot MILF.
“Hey, there’s a hot Milf!” She was wearing a tight dress, and had her two sons with her.
“That’s Pam Anderson,” Taylor said.
I looked at her arm and saw the barbed wire tattoo Pam has. It must be her! God, remember how bad Barbed Wire was? Bad…but not as bad as Anna Nicole Smith in Skyscraper! Now that was pure crap!
Anyway, it was Pam Anderson. She had her two Beverly Hills 90210-named sons (Brandon and Dylan) with her, the older one looking just like Tommy…tall, lanky and awkward looking. Think he has the same big dick? And if he doesn’t, do you think he’ll forever be self-conscious about it? I know I would if MY dad was known as a walking talking huge penis.
So, we exit the cinema and TR needs to use the ladies room, so Keith and I wait outside in the hallway. Then Pam walks out and as she passes me we make eye contact. And then as she was walking away she looked back and smiled. Then she was down the hall waiting for an escort and kept smiling at me.
I wasn’t sure what to do, I mean she didn’t look her best; she wasn’t even wearing makeup. But she is one of the sexiest women on the planet, thus making approaching her difficult.
My smaller-than-Tommy-Lee’s penis doesn’t help much either.
So I let it go. But she followed us to the parking lot and stood outside our truck pretending she didn’t know where her car was. It was becoming pathetic. Eventually, Pam got the hint and got in her Range Rover and went home.
I would have ended up breaking her heart anyway…
Topics: Story |
June 24th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Wow, you really fucked it up this time Fayner.
Everyone knows she’s insatiably hungry when it comes to cock.
I don’t think she discriminates against the small, crooked variety either.
That happened to me once. A hot chick became interested in me at an unexpected time and instead of hooking up with her I panicked, went home and did blow by myself all night.
The ironic thing is she turned out to be a cokehead according to a friend, so me not fucking her was a blessing in disguise.
Life is strange.
June 24th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Hot MILF? Did she pay you to write this? She hasn’t looked hot in years. She was stunning and the hottest shit around until she started all the plastic surgeries and drugs and alcohol.