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WHY AMERICA KICKS ASS

By Fayner | May 19, 2008

So yesterday we threw a BBQ pool party for my birthday as well as for the puppies Lou and Sara. Our only concern was the giant bee hive by the pool on a tree branch that must have been there for a while but we didn’t notice until last Thursday when all the bees went nuts and were flying around everywhere and we had to grab all the dogs and run inside until the coast was clear.

I called a few places that remove bee hives but didn’t have a chance to hire them ’cause Dez said he would go knock it down with a stick and a paintball mask and I really wanted to see that.

Pretty much, I assumed we would be sharing a yard with the bees for a very long time.

PLus, I was hoping Travis would get stung.

But yesterday morning they seemed at peace, just hanging around the hive and not venturing too far away, which meant our guests would be safe from a bee attack.

Then all of a sudden the bee hive was gone. Someone had climbed up the hill and taken the whole branch and no bees were to be found.

Only in America can you neglect a potential hazard and eventually someone else will take care of it for you. That’s sweet.

Maybe someone will come along and remove the crabs from my crotch. That would be nice.

But today I feel like crap from drinking sangria in the 105 degree sun all day so I’ll end here.

Oh and for the record, there were more porn chicks here than at the Smash party last week, and I didn’t even have a flyer with all their names on it.

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