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WILL PORN EVER GO GREEN?
By Fayner | March 20, 2008
I’ve been thinking long and hard, no pun intended (See Tara, this is how you use it), about the world and how it is dying and how we as the reason behind it dying are really not doing our part to save the future of the human race and the planet itself. Its a bummer.
So I’ve been thinking of some ways the porn industry could help the environment, and here is what I’ve come up with so far.
1) Since so many porn chicks are pinned out on speed, I’ve been thinking that if on porn sets a giant hampster wheel was built that would allow the tweeker chicks to waste some of their overabundance of energy while using that energy to power the building, the entire movie shoot would be powered by their need for speed and not on actual costly energy. There are plenty of porn gals I can think of so fucked up on speed, it seems almost like a travesty not to make them do their part by creating free energy. And I’ve seen plenty of these meth freaks frantically clean apartments, I’d love to see what they do inside the hampster wheel.
2) Recycle things like condoms and lube and sex toys. There was a kid I knew long ago - I forget his name but I remember his face got hit by a truck and he was all messed up - who bragged over and over about how he reused sheepskin condoms by just washing them out. And although I never thought about how a kid who got smashed in with a truck was getting the chance to have repeated sex and I was not, I always kept that claim of his close to my heart. And I’m not saying I’d use a condom more than once ’cause I wouldn’t, but that’s only ’cause my sexual escapades are sporadic at best and keeping a used condom for long periods of time would probably make my sexual escapades even further and far between.
3) Share needles. Needles are made of many components that harm the planet. This is bad. My plan is to get all the fucked up junkies that work in the business together and let them all share their needles. I mean, they’re all gonna die soon anyway, right? So why can’t they do it together and save the planet at the same time?
4) Only visit this web site and no others. Listen, every time you click onto a new web site, energy is used. Energy that is both costly and harmful to the planet. So why not do your part and only come here for your daily news and chuckles instead of all the crappy ones you always seem to be going to as well? It makes perfect sense to me.
Now I’m sure this will be lost on most porn people, since they’re too stupid and self-absorbed to even care about the planet, but I urge you to at least try and do your part. That does not mean taking all your old VHS porn tapes and burning them in your backyard.
That would be bad. Real bad. Just do as I pointed out above and within a year or two the Earth will be back and as strong as it was before all the immigrants came and ruined it for everyone!
So smoke your crystal meth! Fuck as many skanky black ‘hos as you can using the same condom! Take that bloody needle from the arm of the stranger passed out beside you and poke it through your skin!
If not for me, do it for Earth.
Go Green!
Topics: Story |
March 21st, 2008 at 6:59 am
i find re-using lubricant to be cost effective- it has consistently demonstrated its ability to cut down on manual labor.