Archive for March 24th, 2008
RESEARCHERS SAY: PORN CHICKS HAVE NO MEMORY GENE!
Monday, March 24th, 2008I was thinking yesterday about cake and porn chicks. Well, mostly just about cake, but then I thought about porn chicks for a minute or two and kept going back to how they must be either bred without a memory gene or its something in the water in the mid West that makes them the forgetful bunch […]
SCOTT WEILAND THINKS MATT SORUM IS FUCKED UP ON DRUGS? GOD, HE MUST REALLY BE BAD OFF…
Monday, March 24th, 2008Those of you who know my work from the LukeFord days know about my beef with Velvet Revolver drummer Matt Sorum. But if you don’t, here’s the 411 on the whole thing.
I played drums in a band called Bad Apples. I did too much coke. Monte didn’t shower. Nate’s balls hadn’t dropped yet. Dan was allergic to […]
PERKS OF TURNING 50
Monday, March 24th, 2008Keith and I are both turning 50 this year, so here are the advantages we now get to look forward to.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM […]
TEAGAN PRESLEY: THE MOST PERFECT WIFE ON EARTH
Monday, March 24th, 2008So I finally went to see Teagan and Tyler’s new baby on Saturday. What a cutie she is!!!! If there was a woman out there who would even consider making a baby with me I think I’d go for it ’cause sure dogs are fucking awesome and all but a little version of yourself is […]