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WHO NEEDS AN STD WHEN YOU HAVE A DOG’S UTERUS?
By Fayner | May 15, 2008
I know you all have been super worried the last 24 hours wondering if my puppy Sara made it through the operation to ger her fixed. Well, she is! A little groggy and cranky, but so am I, right? Only she’ll be fine in a day or two.
So, remember like 3 or 4 years ago when Taylor Rain’s pit bull Dick Bandit had his balls removed, and I talked her into keeping them in a jar after the operation to sell on EBay but instead she brought them to Howard Stern’s show to give him as a present and he refused to take them because his outrageousness is just an act and he’s truly a big, Jewish pussy?
Well now you do.
Anyway, I was thinking to maybe ask the doctor for my bloodhound’s uterus when they cut it out to bring to Howard Stern myself as a sort of “I’m sorry I wrote you’re a big fucking Jew pussy” to hopefully make things better between us.
But then I thought about how much of a Jew pussy Howard Stern is and nixed the idea. Instead, I’m thinking of jamming the uterus through a giant stake and planting it outside my house’s gate as a sort of warning to dumb porn bitches who come into the house and “whore” it up by leaving hair in the sink and douches in the trash can and hooker nails everywhere.
Think it would work? Think the sight of a uterus hanging from a stick is scary enough to fend off the wicked monsters who wish to come over and destroy the house’s innocence? I do.
Or should I just scratch the whole dumb idea and just get a horrible STD so no porn sluts will want to come over anymore?
Naw, the uterus idea is better I’m thinking…
Now I just gotta talk the doctor into giving it to me.
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