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WE COULD BE HEROES
By Fayner | August 18, 2008
Great people do great things. And for those people, we’ve got awards that show how great they are.
Musicians have the Grammys.
Actors have the Oscars.
Football players got a Super Bowl ring.
And I’m sure top surgeons have some statue, too, when they do amazing things.
Writers, it seems, only have the Pulitzer Prize to strive for, and anyone who knows me or a damn thing about me knows that I will never, ever, get me one of them.
So what do I as an internet gossip writer dealing mostly with the porn business have to reach for?
I wasn’t sure until yesterday when I got an email from someone telling me to check out this guy’s myspace page ’cause he lists me as one of his heros.
His name is Blackula, and he’s from Minnesota!
Oh boy, that’s it, this is what I’ve been dreaming of….having a black fan in Minnesota!!!!
Fuck the Pulitzer, right? If I can get a black fan from Minnesota then I can do just about anything.
And then I looked closer and saw that Blackula is in fact white.
That blows. I was really hoping this would be the moment I could sit back and say “I’ve finally made it.”
But I can’t.
Fuck you, Blackula.
And for the record, he lists Michael Stefano (the porn actor), BIll Clinton and Hunter Thompson as his other heros.
I think I have a better chance becoming a fireman and saving cats from trees. ’cause the best award for a fireman is the hug from a little girl who just got her kitty Max back.
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