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DRIVING AND DOING COCAINE IS SAFE
By Fayner | September 18, 2008
When I first came out to Los Angeles back in ‘95 to follow a woman and get hooked on meth, I chose to drive the 3,000 miles instead of just flying.
Not smart.
But I had a plan: I would get a bunch of cocaine, like a 1/2 ounce, and use it to drive straight across the country without stopping. That would save me tons of time and money, I thought.
But how could I safely drive and snort at the same time? Chopping up lines was out of the question, of course, or I wouldn’t be here right now writing this. I’d be dead in a horrible car crash. Coke bullet was out too, ’cause it would take too much time to reload it.
Then my brilliance kicked in. Why not wear a button down shirt that has a pocket, stuff the huge bag of coke in said pocket, and use a giant straw that reaches my nose? That way, every time I need a toot I could just stick the end of the straw into my nostril and snort. Amazing!
Safe and convienient! Boy was I a clever guy back then…
Anyway, according to new studies, it appears that texting while driving is noW considered more dangerous than driving while drunk or on drugs.
Normally, I would say that driving stoned on weed is the safest way to drive, and drunk is the worst. Using cocaine while driving is also pretty stupid, unless you use my proven technique.
Read all about it HERE
Topics: Story |
September 18th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
“Why not wear a button down shirt that has a pocket, stuff the huge bag of coke in said pocket, and use a giant straw that reaches my nose?”
Christ, you’re a fucking GENIUS. Color me impressed, mister.
September 18th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
I remember when you left.That was a ford escort that you drove it needed a clutch.