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SETH MCFARLANE STEALING MY JOKES?
By Fayner | May 12, 2008
A few years back I was living in a house with legendary sperm-picker-uper Nate AKA Winston Burbank. Nathan, some of you may recall from my stories, was obsessed with two things: cleaning and conserving. He would vacuum four times a day even if no one was around to walk on the rugs. He would turn off the television and lights in the living room if he was going into the kitchen for only a minute to pour a glass of milk, only to return to the living room and turn everything back on again. If someone flushed the toilet for no other reason other than to cover up the sound of them blowing a line of coke he’d throw a hissy fit because it was a waste of water. He’d even keep the VCR unplugged ’cause the blinking 12:00 used 5 cents of power a year and that was 5 cents he didn’t want to spend.
The other thing about Nate is that he has a huge cock. Like massive. But unlike most men with huge dicks, Nate is a total sweetheart. It borders on sickening how nice the kid is.
But even his huge cock couldn’t attract a chick ’cause the kid was so neurotic. Nate found solice in his vacuuming.
One day Taylor and I decided to dress the vacuum up like a hot chick and give it to Nate for his birthday along with a toolbelt full of cleaning supplies. I wish I still had the picture of the vacuum, but it died with an old laptop against a wall at the Venetian hotel in Vegas when some guy told me not to smash my computer and I did it anyway.
Anyway, last night on America Dad the writers took my vacuum cleaner chick and used it in one of the side plots to the episode. I understand why they did it; I’m an awesome talent worthy of theft.
I’m actually honored, more so if my joke made it onto Family Guy instead. But whatever, right?
[ed note: Staci has informed me that dressing up vacuums is a common thing. I don't believe her. I made it up.]
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