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GOOD THING SHE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT WANTEDLIST!
By Fayner | May 9, 2008
So a few weeks ago I had to fly out to Boston to see my mother who broke her ankle when a film starring Matthew McConaughey was shooting in the alley behind her condo caused her to get all excited and fall down her stairs and snap her leg.
Ouch!
But what was more of an ouch was me having to go back to where it all started for me: Boston. Not that I don’t enjoy going back each year to Nantucket, its just that I find it weird when I see all the people I grew up with who knew me before I became a coke addict and a porn writer and it makes me sad that so many of them are happily married with kids and big houses and I’m still crawling through life like a piece of shit.
Before I left, some chick from Boston got in touch with me and wanted to meet me for a date while I was in town…a nice Jewish girl, she said.
Of course, I refrained from informing her of the business I’m in, instead told her I’m just a plain ol’ writer trying to make it in the big city.
Then, like a dummy, I gave her my last name.
Stupid of me, ’cause five minutes later she’s bombarding me with questions and IMing me quotes about me from Wikipedia (Scott Fayner is a porn industry writer who has written for Hustler. His website, https://scottfayner.com/, features interviews with industry actors and executives, movie reviews, and porn star gossip. He was briefly married to adult film actress Taylor Rain (TMFR) who is also the editor-in-chief of his industry news website) and pretty much making up her mind that I am an evil person with nothing to live for and no redeeming qualities at all.
But she still wanted to meet up with me for lunch in Boston. Fuck it, I thought, its only $50 and she could be THE ONE, right?
So we sit down at this place Stephanies on Newbury Street and instantly she continues her barrage of questions from things she looked up on Google about me.
“So,” she said, “I rented Oral Consumption last night!”
“Okay, should that mean something to me?”
“Google said you’re in the cast, so I went out and rented it last night and watched your scene!”
Pretty much, this chick was trying to trap me into admitting that I’ve done a porn scene in my past, but as I’m from Boston I know damn well there are no porn shops in the area and if there were they would never carry that title in a thousand years ’cause Massholes are far too uptight to watch something as nasty as Oral Consumption and I knew it.
“Oh really?” I played along. “You rented that movie?”
“Yup!”
“And you saw me in it?”
“Yup!”
“Bullshit!”
“What?”
“Listen,” I shot back, “I know you didn’t rent that movie ’cause first off you’re far too normal to rent a porn at a store and second I wasn’t in it performing (a lie) but as an extra (another lie)! Nice try, bitch!”
That pretty much ended our date. She was as lame as they come if you ask me. But she did have the nerve to try and get me to have Taylor Rain call her ex-boyfriend and say hello ’cause he’s such a big fan and it would mean so much if I could do this one thing for a chick who stereotyped and looked down on me before meeting me.
Fuck that.
“Hey,” I yelled as we began walking our seperate ways, “if you really want to rent that or any porn movie you should try WantedList. You can rent on-line and won’t get embarrassed by it. Later, bitch!”
Topics: Story |
May 11th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
What a bitch. What would be her motivation for doing this, other than to fuck with you and make you feel like shit?
I don’t get it.
May 14th, 2008 at 9:45 am
Yo, Stephanies is the bomb, especially when it’s cold though. Best Mac and Cheese in New England.