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REAL COLLEGE GIRLS AND THE POOL GUY
By Fayner | August 6, 2008
The pool pump at our house broke some weeks back. The pool ain’t in good shape. So we found this guy on Craigslist who said he was gonna bring a new pump and get the pool back into working order for the dogs to use in this unbearable Valley heat (Valley Heat? Wasn’t that a killer Quasarman movie for Metro some years back starring the amazing April Flowers? See, my brain ain’t that scrambled!).
The guy said he’d be over in the morning. He showed up at 8 at night. We should have buried him in the backyard right then and there. But we didn’t.
So this guy puts in a new pool pump in the dark. He seems to be nice enough, so I give him some porn to take home once he finishes. He says we should let the glue dry and not to turn it on until the morning. Okay. We pay him and he leaves with the porn.
The next day we turn on the pump and it isn’t working properly. We call him. And call him. And call him. Days go by, and we’re thinking we just got played for $170.
Then he calls. Sorry, I’ve been real busy. I’ll be there tomorrow to fix it.
Two days later, he sends his pool girl to clean the pool. She says he is a flake.
Awesome.
Two days later he comes back to fix the pump. Staci is convinced the guy is on speed. I can’t find an argument against it.
So he fixes it, he says, and I want to believe him.
So I go to my porn closet to find him some more porn. He just fixed the fucking pool, right? He deserves to jerk off in style…
In the closet I find Hustler’s Real College Girls: Lesbian Stories. I really want to see this flick, there’s some hot chicks in it doing sexual things to the vaginas and buttholes of other hot chicks, and that is a good thing. I thought giving him this flick would make us his main priority when it comes to pool and pool related things.
Anyway, I’m in a giving mood and all at the moment so I decide to give it up to him, plus a bunch of other, less good porn.
Now the pool is broken again, and dragonflies are hunting for food in the water. The pool guy has been texting me with lame excuses and keeps saying he’ll be coming by to fix the broke-ass pump.
Pretty much, we’re fucked.
This isn’t the first bad pool guy we’ve come across. I can think of like 5 in a row who’ve sucked big balls.
Anyone got a good pool guy in the Valley? Our dogs really need to swim.
I also need a new copy of Hustler’s Real College Girls: Lesbian Stories
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