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SO WHAT SO WHAT SO WHAT’S THE SCENARIO?
By Fayner | September 10, 2008
I have somewhere like 500 Naughty America scenes saved on my computer for a rainy day, and it is a good thing too since my password has been revoked due to handing it out like candy to married friends back East who are drunk and not getting any from their cold wives.
Anyway, I decided to check out a couple dozen yesterday to see the plots being used to initiate sex and whether they are anywhere close to being realistic.
They aren’t.
Forget the older woman seducing her son’s best friend. It happens, just never like in these scenes. A friend of my mother’s once grabbed my cock in Nantucket some years back while we were having a dinner party and she came with me to walk Rhiannon. I planned to meet her later, but I guess because she was so old she fell asleep before I could fuck her and never answered her door. Believe me, I tried breaking in. But to have the young guy show up at the house to get his homework that he forgot and the mother is there saying, “I’ve always thought you were cute” and then the anal sex happens is just pure hog wash.
Forget the college girl needing an A and her teacher offering her his cock in trade. That happens, probably often, just not in the classroom where all these scenes take place. If what Naughty America claims in their scenes are true, then everyone would be a fucking teacher, that’s for sure.
The closest Naughty America comes to reality is in their college series, Fast Times at Naughty University. Only here are the scenarios anywhere close to being like what really happens. The girl gets dumped, then goes to cry on his friend’s shoulder. She feels vulerable, he slides his dick into her soft vagina.
I didn’t find any pizza guy scenes, but there were delivery guy plots (I remember back in my nightclub working days, there was an office manager named Lois - she used to blow Uriah Heep in the 70s and I think she sucked off Sting outside the Rat in Boston on their first tour - who blew a UPS guy in one of the back offices once) and real estate plots (yeah, I’m sure!) and a whole slew of dudes who just show up in a backyard only to find a sexy chick ready to fuck.
I don’t buy it, not one bit. My penis doesn’t mind as much, but he ain’t that smart.
I’d like to make a porn movie where the guy has to take the chick out four times to expensive dinners before finally getting some play. That would make me feel better about life in general.
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