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LITTLE LOW ON CASH? JUST RAT ON YOUR FRIENDS!!!
By Fayner | August 11, 2008
Listen, everybody is struggling right now.
Everybody but me.
I guess the demand for over-the-hill, ex-drug addicted porn writers is at an all time high, though, ’cause I’m rolling in cash. It could have something to do with all the money I’m not spending on cocaine this past year, but I sleep better thinking I’m just so awesome that companies throw me tons of money for advertising.
Anyway, this mass quanity of loot I’ve been collecting plus the fact that I’m an extremely lazy man has made me come up with an idea: pay people for dirt.
Okay, so its an old idea, I understand that, but for me its new. (I don’t count all the grams of blow I’ve had to scoop into people’s noses to get good dirt as paying for information…)
So if you know about a content provider who dresses like a chick behind closed doors, and you have the pictures to prove it, we’ll pay you for it! Have info on an internet company owner who’s going through a messy divorce and claims only a few bucks a year in taxes as a ‘professional gambler’ to hide his money from the wife? Lots of cash for that one. Got the inside info about an agent’s fight over the weekend? We’ll pay you for that, too! But it all has to be verifiable.
What are you waiting for?
We will pay up to $500 for information, as long as it can be proven and the story is worthy of being told. Otherwise, you get jack shit. And if you’re a total pussy, we’ll even guarantee you’ll remain nameless as is the law under the wonderful First Amendment of the United States of America but we’ll still call you a pussy under our breath.
Send your ideas to [email protected]
Topics: Story |
August 11th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Must I write a story with my penis ?
August 11th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
How can anything be proven true unless you say their names? You should save your money for those future lawsuits. I’m sure there are many who would love to rat out the scumbags out there but only to a site that will actually print it. Will you even if it includes your friends and business associates? You never ran Tyler beating Teagan and getting arrested. How long after will you be pulling down those pages and stories? Just offer a place for the information to be posted and I’m sure many will contact you. Did Luke pay for stories? You’re bragging about how much money you make and you’re also saying you’ll print gossip. You might end up being more hated than Luke!
August 11th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
your jew tendencies are starting to come out as you get older
August 12th, 2008 at 10:15 am
i have some dirt on fayner