ASHLEE SIMPSON SHOWS SOME SKIN
By FaynerIsBack | April 24, 2008
Everyone has been wondering why Ashlee Simpson continues to be so coy about confirming her pregnancy — she remained mum even after Ellen DeGeneres rubbed her belly during a recent appearance. Part of the reason for staying mum, perhaps, is that she’s featured on the cover of Shape magazine in a string bikini and looking as toned as ever.
Ironic or just awkward, you be the judge, but Simpson told the magazine, “Now I’m in shape. I never thought I’d be on the cover of a magazine in a bikini but now is the time and place to show the world how I’m feeling about myself.”
Interestingly, Simpson left her fiancé, Pete Wentz, out of the interview entirely, but she did show signs of domesticity when she revealed her desire to become a better cook. Once a month, she and her girlfriends have dinner parties and everyone makes a dish. “Last month my friend showed us how to make the most delicious glazed carrots to go with baked chicken,” she told Shape.
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
‘SATAN DID IT, NOT ME’
By FaynerIsBack | April 24, 2008
BBC: A woman who told police Satan was driving her car after she killed a mother and daughter has been cleared of causing death by dangerous driving.
Jane Malkin, 51, and Nicole Townshend, 24, were hit by the car when it mounted the pavement in Saffron Lane, Leicester, in January last year.
The jury at Leicester Crown Court cleared Gemma Montanaro, 41, by reason of insanity.
Ms Montanoro will be made the subject of an order of the court.
The court heard before the collision, Ms Montanaro had been seen by witnesses driving on the wrong side of the road and through red lights at speeds of up to 70mph.
The Vauxhall Astra turned over in the collision but the defendant climbed out of the vehicle and ran from the scene, the jury heard.
Arrested a short time later, a police officer asked her if she was the driver of the car involved in the crash. The defendant replied “Yeah, sort of”.
She told investigators, “Somebody had their foot on my foot and their hand on my hand - it wasn’t me driving, it was Satan”.
A child was also slightly injured and a second child and a woman escaped unhurt during the incident.
The jury took just 15 minutes to deliver its verdict after hearing claims she was insane at the time of the crash.
In a police interview, she claimed she had been in the grip of schizophrenia when her car hit the pavement and killed the two women instantly.
Home treatment staff, based at Leicester Royal Infirmary, released Ms Montanaro when she sought their help the day before the collision, despite the concerns of psychiatrists, the court heard.
Giving evidence, psychiatrist Dr Susan Smith said: “I would say she was severely unwell because she was so out of touch with reality she was unable to converse with people.
“My opinion was that she should have been admitted to hospital.” she said.
The NHS East Midlands Strategic Health Authority has decided to conduct an independent review.
Ms Montanaro has been ordered to return to Leicester Crown Court on 27 June to be made subject of an order of the court.
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WOMAN SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY GHOST
By FaynerIsBack | April 24, 2008
FEDERAL WAY, Wash. - Two local women claim they’ve been sexually assaulted by ghosts.
According to a police report, the two women told officers a paranormal person has been placing sensors on their bodies and having intercourse with them at their apartment in the 28600 block of 25th Place South.
One of the women said the assault began when she lived in Kent and followed them to Federal Way. The second woman said her encounters began recently.
The maintenance man in charge of the apartment complex said the women keep calling him saying the ghosts are raping them on weekend nights. He finally told them to call police.
It’s an odd case for cops, but it’s right up Ross Allison’s alley. He’s a ghost hunter.
“Cases like this don’t pop up that often,” he said.
With the emergence of the Sci-fi channel’s hit show “Ghost Hunters,” paranormal popularity is soaring. And Allison says as the number of ghost shows grows, so do spirit sightings.
“And so they start to label every little interesting thing happening in their home as paranormal when it might just be a house creaking,” he said.
Candid questions help ghost hunters sort the eerie from the unstable.
“A lot of times you’ll find it might be medications that they’re taking or something psychological,” Allison said.
The ghost hunter took a walk through the apartment complex where the women say a spirit has haunted them for two years. He said he would need a psychic to check for the presence of a ghost.
Police declined comment on the unusual report other than to say they do not have any investigative leads.
And the women themselves - well, they weren’t anywhere to be found, just like the ghost.
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THEY SELL BUD - WE SELL WEED
By FaynerIsBack | April 24, 2008
Feds not laughing at beer from Weed
Brewer says labels honor name of his community, but agency says they are touting marijuana.
WEED – The federal government has said no to Weed.
Or at least to the bottle caps on beer brewed at a popular local brewery in this small Siskiyou County town, which has a name that no doubt would have kept 1970s pot-smoking duo Cheech and Chong giggling.
Weed brewer Vaune Dillmann faces possible sanctions or fines from the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau if he continues to brew and sell beer with bottle caps printed with the label “Try Legal Weed.”
Bureau spokesman Art Resnick said Monday that the bottle caps tell consumers to support an illegal drug – a policy that violates rules of the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau as well as the agency’s predecessor, the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms.
Dillmann, who says his bottle caps promote both his beers and the community in which he brews them, has appealed the decision.
After all, he said, the labels on his beers have a picture of the Weed arch and the city’s founding father, Abner Weed, on the label.
Dillmann’s bottle caps also say a “A Friend in Weed is a Friend Indeed.”
“We’re dealing with a surname that’s been used for hundreds of years,” Dillmann said.
The owner of Mount Shasta Brewing Co. said he’s also outraged that his beer is being singled out for using a possible pot play on words when Anheuser-Busch has used “Bud” – another name for marijuana – to promote its Budweiser line of beers.
“What’s the difference here?” Dillmann said. “They sell Bud – we sell Weed.”
For decades, Weed’s name has become synonymous with pot-smoker humor, and locals will tell you it’s a common sight to see red-eyed, tie-dye clad college students posing in front of the town’s Weed highway signs, flashing thumbs ups for the camera.
There also is no doubt that not everyone finds Weed’s name funny.
“I understand there have been movements in the past to get the name of the city changed,” said Weed City Manager Earl Wilson, “but it hadn’t met with great success.”
Even so, most in the town of 3,000 are used to the name, and some like Dillmann have gone so far as to use the Weed name for marketing purposes.
Gas stations sell “High on Weed, CA” shirts and hats to tourists passing through town on Interstate 5 or Highway 97, the town’s main drag a little more than an hour north of Redding.
In a letter to the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau’s administrator, Siskiyou County Supervisor Michael Kobseff said California tourism officials have identified Weed as the single most recognized name along I-5.
“Surely, the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau is not in the business of suppressing the ingenuity of a small-business owner, (and) the community of Weed …,” Kobseff wrote.
Mayor Chuck Sutton said the city’s Chamber of Commerce has used another play on words, “Weed like to welcome you,” to promote the town.
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
IDIOT OF THE MONTH AWARD
By FaynerIsBack | April 24, 2008
Robber gets his ass kicked by a blind guy!
from MSN: The next time Allan Kieta thinks there might be an intruder in his home, he’s not going to rush blindly into a fight for his life.
The 49-year-old Indianapolis husband and father of two meant that literally when he said it Thursday on TODAY. Kieta really is blind, but that didn’t stop him from subduing a would-be burglar 24 years his junior with wrestling moves learned more than 30 years ago.
The battle took place Monday and lasted from 30 to 40 minutes. Kieta wasn’t even supposed to be home, but he decided to take a day off from work and sleep in. When his pet poodle started barking hysterically, he got out of bed and, instead of calling 911 on the phone or listening to try to determine who was in the house, he opened the bedroom door and went into the hall — and straight into an intruder.
“He attacked me — as soon as I ran into him, it was like a war started,” Kieta told TODAY’s Matt Lauer in New York. “It was like mayhem for the first few seconds till I was able to get him down. Then things started calming down a little bit.”
Some 32 years ago, Kieta had been a champion wrestler in high school, and his father was a Marine who taught his son some tricks of the trade. Since he couldn’t see to trade punches with the intruder, Kieta said he knew he had to use his wrestling skills to get the fight onto the floor, where blindness would not be a great handicap.
“In wrestling you have to get control of him, and by doing that you have to go either forward or you have to turn,” Kieta said. “We were in the hallway, so there wasn’t any way to circle him. So I basically came straight at him until I could get hold of him and pull him down, and I was on top of him.”
Kieta acted as if it weren’t that big of a deal. Once he got the intruder, later identified as Alvaro Castro, 25, on the ground, he was able to control him. In doing so, he remembered a trick his father had told him about and lifted Castro up by his belt, which forced his upper body down.
The battle went from the hallway through the laundry room and into the kitchen.
During the life-or-death struggle, Kieta kept asking the intruder why he broke into his house.
“He said, ‘I was looking for my cat.’ I said, ‘Your cat? You’re in my house!’”
20 tries to dial 911
Castro also said he was looking for Kieta’s daughter, 18-year-old Alexandra; he also has a 16-year-old son, Allan III. Kieta later learned that Castro had worked with a crew on their yard three years earlier and had befriended Alexandra and Allan. Kieta figures that Castro thought no one would be home on a Monday morning and the house would be an easy touch.
Once in the kitchen, Kieta dragged Castro to the stove and grabbed a large chef’s knife.
“I love to cook and it’s sitting right beside the stove to the right,” he told Lauer. “The kind of odd thing was, only one knife was left — it was a big one. All the others were in the dishwasher. It was really easy to find it. It was the only one there sticking out of the wooden block.”
He held the knife to Castro’s throat and went for the telephone. With his right arm wrapped around Castro’s neck and near total exhaustion, it took Kieta about 20 tries to dial 911 with his left hand.
He was so frustrated and Castro was so terrified that he offered to dial 911 himself. “He said, ‘Please, let me dial it. Please don’t kill me,’ ” Kieta said. But he finally got the three digits right and told the operator his situation.
The 911 tape records him saying, “I have an intruder and right now I have him with a knife.”
“Is he trying to fight with you right now?” the operator asked.
“No, I got the knife to his neck,” Kieta replied with remarkable calm.Police rushed to the home and arrested Castro. Kieta said his jaw was sore the next day from a few punches Castro got in, but otherwise he feels fine. But, he added, the next time his dog starts barking wildly, he’s not going to rush into another fight.
“I probably should have been a little more cautious,” he said. “Like maybe not just open the door and charge down the hallway.”
Lauer asked Alexandra if she was impressed by what her father had done.
“It’s kind of surprising he struggled that long,” she said, then added: “But he’s pretty beast-like.”
She meant it as a compliment.
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SHRINKING PENIS SPELL… FAYNERS EXCUSE
By FaynerIsBack | April 24, 2008
KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo’s sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
“You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We’ve had a number of attempted lynchings. … You see them covered in marks after being beaten,” Kinshasa’s police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.
Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.
“I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke,” Oleko said.
“But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.
Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.
“It’s real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny,” said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
KEITH OCONNOR TALKS ABOUT SHY LOVE, KENNY GUARINO & MORE
By FaynerIsBack | April 24, 2008
I got a few emails regarding the Shy Love/Eric Hunter battle that’s taking place over at AdultFYI.com and soon to be in a courtroom near you. In the latest installment, Eric Hunter discussed Keith O’Connor’s dislike for Shy Love but he says he can’t remember exactly what caused the dislike. I talked to Keith about it and got the facts.
Here’s part of Gene Ross’s article - to read the rest click here
My recollection from conversations with O’Connor was that there was drama in that someone else had to come in and finish up Justine’s Red Letter. Not to Hunter’s recall, however. “I thought that Shy got fired,” I tell Hunter. “I’m not sure, I think… there was a scene with Taylor Rain and Evan Stone,” Hunter recalls. “I’m not sure but I believe Taylor doesn’t like to do girls. And right as the scene started Taylor left the scene. I’m not sure if they ended up using that scene but we finished the movie. If you play the movie it says directed by Shy Love and Eric Hunter [which it does].” Still, I recall O’Connor telling me Love was removed from that project. “To be honest with you my memory is fuzzy on what caused the problems between Shy and Keith,” states Hunter. “But it was a big problem. They really didn’t get along very well. I’m trying to remember what he did to make her angry but whatever it was, it wasn’t worth how angry they got at each other. But I stayed on the sidelines.”
Fayner: So why do you have such a dislike for Shy Love?
Keith: It goes back to the movie Fanta-Sin from Torrid Entertainment, not Justine’s Red Letters. I had Mike Adams shoot the first two scenes. One with Anita Blue and the second was a three way lesbian scene with Celeste Star, Holly Morgan and Paola Rey. After that I had to put Mike onto a Defiance Films production the next day. Defiance took precedent over Torrid.
To finish off the Torrid title I asked Shy Love to complete the final 3 scenes. She shot the three scenes in one day at mine and Anthony’s house in Studio City. Nothing elaborate, just 3 scenes, 8 hours, finished.
A few days later I had to head to New York for a few days. While I was away Shy submitted her paperwork and ‘Directing Invoice’ for the 3 scenes to Anthony, knowing I was gone. Mike Adams did the same for his two scenes. Mike Adams (industry veteran, AVN award winner, feature director) submitted an invoice for a $1000 directing fee for the 2 scenes. Shy Love (no directing experience whatsoever) submitted an invoice for a $3000 directing fee for the 3 scenes. However in her Invoice to Anthony she made it appear as if she had directed an entire title, leaving out the fact is was a mopup job of 3 scenes in 1 day. Anthony approved the invoice and left it on my desk with all the other invoices along with all the checks for talent and crew.
It was no coincidence that Shy waited until I was gone to submit this crooked/bloated invoice to Anthony. Shy and Anthony’s girlfriend Kelly Erikson were dance partners and good friends and the 2 couples frequently spent time together, so Shy took liberty with that friendship and gave the invoice to Anthony playing on that friendship.
When I got back from New York I signed off on everything until I came to Shy’s check. First I thought it was a combined check for her Directing and performing, until I saw another check made out to her for performing and another check made out to her husband for ‘co-directing’ - so now the directing fee totaled $4000 for 3 scenes. I went into Anthony’s office and told him the discrepancy, he was shocked and as pissed as I was. He was under the impression the fee was for a full and complete movie, not 3 scenes. I called Shy and asked her why she would have the audacity to submit a $3000 directing fee for 3 scenes (not even mentioning the ‘co-directing’ fee) and her reply was, “I put a lot of work into setting up those 3 scenes, I made a lot of phone calls and did a lot of preparation, so I worked just as hard as if I did 5 scenes over 2 days.” After hearing that moronic excuse, I OK’d the payment and when she came into the office to pick up her check I told her she was fired and to enjoy the money she just stole, for it was the last dime she would ever see from Torrid or Defiance as a director or talent.
Fayner: What a lying bitch
Keith: Think so? Does it surprise you?
Fayner: What about your problem with Eric Hunter?
Keith: My problem with Eric all stems from Shy. Without Shy in the picture I have no problem with Eric.
Fayner: What do you think about all these stories now surfacing about Shy, from her bogus mail-in degrees, her stealing from partners, money problems, foreclosures, does it give you some satisfaction?
Keith: I could care less, it’s Shy Love, who cares. I have no ill will towards Shy, I wish her the best with her Talent Agency and her career. I’m happy she recovered from cancer.
Fayner: Can we talk about the Defiance Films debacle?
Keith: Not yet.
Fayner: Does that mean we will someday?
Keith: Maybe, maybe not, maybe I’ll just give you all the tapes I have that I recorded during every meeting we ever had at Defiance from the first meeting to the last, all on tape. You can listen to those and then you can decide for yourself who’s telling the truth.
Fayner: Tapes? That should be a good listen, can I have them now?
Keith: Good listen? They’re boring as hell. No sex, no screaming matches. Just every meeting that ever took place between the 4 partners, lawyers, plus a meeting I had over at the other building with a guy discussing emails between myself and Norman. Boring stuff to you.
Fayner: Some James Dond recording shit?
Keith: Nope, just an Olympus DS-2 digital recorder that fit in my pocket and I had with me every day. When I started at Metro in 2003 Kenny always taught me to cover my ass, so I always have.
Fayner: Has anyone heard them?
Keith: Yes
Fayner: Why not make them public?
Keith: I have no reason to, yet. If there ever comes a time I truly have to defend myself and Anthony, I will.
Fayner: You’re no fun anymore!! I bet if we were still doing Lukeford you’d release it!
Keith: Nope.
Fayner: Speaking of people you hate, what about Norman Bentley?
Keith: I don’t hate Norman. Norman was my best friend, I’ve known Norman since 2001. When I first came out to LA for Metro I was with Norman every day. What happened between myself, Anthony, Norman, Defiance, it was business. It wasn’t personal. Norman is very close to Ron Levy, hell Ron was just best man at Norman’s wedding and because of that relationship Norman had to choose sides which is completely understandable. Norman is a great person, and will always be a friend to me. I miss his friendship, I miss going to the driving range with him.
Fayner: Lame!!! I wanted some east coast fireworks!
Fayner: Ron Levi?
Keith: Brilliant and shrewd businessman. Grateful for the fact he believed in Anthony and I enough to parter with us in Defiance and fund it, disappointed that he ended it the way he did.
Fayner: Fucking lame! What are you now a politician?
Fayner: Metro?
Keith: I spoke to Kenny on the phone a few weeks ago. I apologized to him for not listening to him. Truth is he was 100% right and I was 100% wrong. I should have never quit my job at Metro, and Kenny warned me that ‘the grass isn’t greener on the other side’. He was right, he was always right. When Kenny moved me out to LA in the summer of 2004 he told me if I followed his lead and teachings I’d be one of the most powerful people in adult. I did everything he told me, I stayed under the radar as GM of Metro, my name was never anywhere and everything was great. Then I stopped listening, and made bad decisions. Decisions Kenny warned me of. Kenny was like a father to me. I’d eat dinner with him and his family at his houses in Rhode Island and Beverly Hills, do things with him and his family, and I blew it all because I wouldn’t heed his advice.
Fayner: Regrets?
Keith: Every day of my life, but it’s in the past, I made amends with Kenny and Les Rich and that’s that, it is what it is.
Topics: Story | 3 Comments »
‘FAMILY GUY’ EPISODE IN REAL LIFE
By FaynerIsBack | April 23, 2008
Remember that Family Guy episode where Peter goes for a check up and the doctor sticks his fingers up Peter’s ass, and then Peter screams in pain and horror, feeling violated Peter files suit against the doctor?? Remember that??? Well, it’s now a real life story….. read on
NEW YORK - A hospital did nothing wrong when it tried to examine the rectum of a construction worker who had been hit on the head by a falling wooden beam, a jury found Monday.
After deliberating for about an hour, a state Supreme Court jury awarded nothing to Brian Persaud, who sued NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital for unspecified damages. The panel found the hospital and its emergency room medical staff were not liable.
Persaud’s lawyers, Gerard Marrone and Gary DeFilippo, said he might appeal.
“We’re very disappointed,” Marrone said after the two-week trial. “It’s a miscarriage of justice.”
The hospital’s lawyer, Jeffrey Lawton, declined comment.
Marrone said Persaud, 38, was injured while working at a construction site in midtown Manhattan on May 20, 2003. Persaud received eight stitches for a cut over his eyebrow at the hospital, but denied emergency room staffers’ request to examine his rectum, the lawyer said. He said doctors told Persaud the exam could help determine whether the accident caused spinal damage.
When Persaud resisted, staffers held him down while he begged, “Please don’t do that,” Marrone said. Persaud hit a doctor while flailing around, so the staffers gave him a powerful sedative and performed the rectal exam, he said.
Hospital witnesses testified at trial that the exam was never completed, but Marrone said that when Persaud woke up he was handcuffed to a bed and had an oxygen tube down his throat and lubricant in his rectum.
“He resisted because he didn’t know what they were doing,” DeFilippo said. “Once he said he didn’t want the rectal exam, everything should have stopped.”
DeFilippo said he believes the rectal exam was done as retaliation because his panicked client hit the doctor.
A judge dismissed a misdemeanor assault charge that was filed against Persaud because he hit the doctor.
DeFilippo said his client is unemployed and has been unable to hold a job since the accident
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JENNA JAMESON’S VAGINA STOLEN
By FaynerIsBack | April 23, 2008
Move over, Michael Jackson. An Orange County man has redefined the meaning of “crotch grabber.”
In the early morning hours of April 15th a suspect broke into Fullerton’s Erogenous Zone, and helped himself not to the till, but to a rubber replica of porn actress Jenna Jameson’s own erogenous zones worth $250. (Unlike Ms. Jameson, however, the item is described as “Open-ended for easy cleaning.” Whatta woman!)
Determined to get his piece of Jenna, video surveillance from the retailer shows the man repeatedly tossing a rock at the glass door, then finally finding success shattering the display window with his adapted weapon and heading inside.
According to the OC Register, the thief encountered a similar frustration when he’s faced with an unyielding till: “Video shows him try to break into the store’s cash register, but it wouldn’t open for him” but, perhaps remembering that if you take things just a little to the left or right you can hit the jackpot, “he looks around, and makes his selection – a Jenna Jameson body double made of Ultra Realistic skin – and walks out of the store.” SCORE!
Fullerton Police are interested in anyone with information regarding the burglar–besides the fact that he is probably broke and horny. LAist would like to remind the police, however, that it’s always a good idea to wear gloves when retrieving stolen property.
got this email from Tod Hunter
The MSRP on that Jenna Jameson faux snatch is $385.75, per Jordan at the Doc Johnson PR outfit.
Just another example of the mainstream media undervaluing porn.
–t
intrepid investigative reporter
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
YOU JUST CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
By FaynerIsBack | April 23, 2008
TAITUNG, Taiwan — An angler’s genitals were struck by lightning while he was fishing yesterday morning at a reef on Green Island, located off Taiwan’s coast in the eastern county of Taitung, according to coastal patrol policemen.
The angler, 47 and named Chen Ming-wen, was fishing at a reef off the Nanliao Bank of the Green Island, when a bolt of lightning — attracted by the fishing pole he was holding — struck, running down to his privates.
Soon after being informed of the accident at 8:55 a.m. that morning, firemen rushed to the spot and sent Chen to a nearby clinic for emergency medical treatment.
Coastal patrol policemen then sent Chen to Mackay Memorial Hospital for further treatment,
Doctors said that Chen had some 20 percent of his body burnt, and remained conscious, adding that they would conduct further examinations to see if Chen’s sex ability is undermined or not.
Weathermen said that as the thunderstorm would linger in Taitung area, people had better not expose themselves to the open space.
Meanwhile, a veteran angler said fishing men should be aware that the general fiber-carbon fishing pole can conduct electricity.
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
OLD CHICKS AND HAND JOBS
By Fayner | April 22, 2008
So I’m sitting around with Testa and Barrett Blade and we’re getting stoned and chatting. Barrett says something about shooting a hand job movie and asks if I want to be in a scene receiving a hand job not giving one and I say only if it is with an old chick.
“Old chick? Why?” Barrett asked.
“Because in my experience only old chicks can give a good hand job. It must be something that gets better with age.”
“Absolutely!” Testa shouted. “There’s this 50 year old Asian chick at the Rub N Tug I go to and she is the best at giving hand jobs! I’m ready to pop in 10 seconds!”
“Wow,” I shot back, “you should marry her!”
“Well she says if I lose weight she’ll fuck me!”
Awesome.
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GOING TO BOSTON
By Fayner | April 22, 2008
So my mother broke her ankle and finds that making me schlep 3,000 miles to Boston to carry her around is a good payback for all the crap I’ve put her through over the years.
Sweet.
Anyway, if you’re a weed dealer or a bar owner or some hot chick who wants me, let me know and we can get together while I’m there.
email me at [email protected]
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CHECK OUT MY NEW ARTICLE IN HUSTLER
By Fayner | April 21, 2008
Remember how newbie Dakoda Brookes was living at our house some months back right when she got into the business? I do.
Anyway, while she was here I wrote an article about her for Hustler. I won’t really go into details ’cause Larry Flynt would get made at me for giving it away for free, but it is a thought-provoking, edge of your seat thriller that everyone must read before they die.
Hustler’s July 2008 issue comes out either today or this week I’m not sure ’cause I’m so cool I get an advanced copy every month and you don’t. You can also check it out online at Hustler.com.
Topics: Story | 11 Comments »
HENRY HILL BEGGING FOR BOOZE MONEY OUTSIDE FAT BURGER
By Fayner | April 21, 2008
I stopped by Zero Tolerance today to say hello to Travis and Don over at Atlas. Like always with Travis, the conversation soon made its way to food.
“Oh, so check this out,” Travis told me. “I was outside the Fat Burger on Topanga and Ventura, and some bum comes up all buzzed asking for a few bucks. So I gave him some money. Then he gets all nice and wants to know what my name is, so I tell him.”
The bum then says “my name is Henry Hill.”
“Henry Hill?” Travis asks. “The Henry Hill?”
“Yes,” the bum answers, “Henry Hill from The Howard Stern Show.”
“So you’re…?” Travis inquires.
“Yes, I’m the fucking rat bastard Henry Hill.”
Travis was floored.
“So,” Henry continues, “can I get some more money? I need to get good and drunk before my AA meeting!”
Frankly, I’m surprised this guy hasn’t been killed yet. I guess he’s too pathetic to whack.
Topics: Story | 3 Comments »
DOCTOR WRITES ABOUT FAYNER AND TAYLOR IN BOOK
By Fayner | April 21, 2008
The story went something like this: I was hired by Hustler to do an article called “Bringing a porn star home to meet mom” so I took Taylor Rain and her dog Bandit to Nantucket Island to hang out with my mother. The article remains one of my finest pieces of work, although I’m not sure if that is actually a good thing or not. The main focus of the article, besides the awkwardness of bringing a smut slut home, was Bandit almost dying. But he survived.
That happened 3 and a half years ago.
So someone on Adult DVD Talk picked up a book titled Tell Me Where It Hurts by Dr. Nick Trout, who is an animal doctor at Angell Memorial hospital in Boston, MA. Turns out this doctor knows the doctor who operated on Bandit, and wrote the story about how two fucked up people came in with a fucked up dog and he saved the fucked up dog’s life, only to find out a year later that those two people work in porn and the whole story is documented in Hustler.
In the book my name is Steve. Taylor’s name is Tanya. And Bandit is known as Rocco.
Read the first page here
and the second page here
and then tell me what you think…
Topics: Story | 7 Comments »
WILL CASSIDEY GET A NEW BIONIC EYE?
By Fayner | April 21, 2008
Everyone knows that Cassidey’s left eye is fake. She told me years ago. I don’t mind. She’s hot no matter what.
But I was reading today how some British scientists performed two operations that used a bionic eye with hopes the patients will get their eyesight back. There is a tiny video camera linked to an artificial retina which sends images to the brain.
Real hi -tech stuff.
Cassidey was unavailable for comment, but I think the years of bumping into walls has almost pushed this young starlet over the edge and she may be headed to jolly ol’ England for this operation.
We’ll keep you posted.
Read the full news story here
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
EVIL ANGEL’S JOHN STAGLIANO HEADS TO WASHINGTON
By Fayner | April 18, 2008
“Evil Angel’s films are completely legal. These movies are made by consenting adults, for consenting adults. We believe wholeheartedly in liberty, freedom of speech and the First Amendment and we look forward to defeating these baseless charges,” said Karen Stagliano, John’s wife and Evil Angel’s publicist.
Earlier this year, Evil Angel won 18 Adult Video News awards, the porn industry’s Academy Awards. Stagliano won “Best Director” for the 4th time. Stagliano has won more Adult Video News Awards during his illustrious career than any other adult industry director.
For background information on this obscenity case, please visit the website www.DefendOurPorn.com.
Who:
John Stagliano
Owner, Evil Angel
Awarding-winning Director and Producer, Called a “pioneer” and the “father of gonzo”
What: Statement and Media Q&A About Federal Obscenity Charges
When: Monday, April 21, 2008 at 11:30 a.m. Eastern
Where: The steps of the E. Barrett Pettyman Courthouse at 333 Constitution Avenue
Contact:
Karen Stagliano
Publicist, Evil Angel
[email protected]
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
IS DOG STARVATION CONSIDERED ART?
By Fayner | April 18, 2008
Okay, so at first I was outraged over this when Staci sent it over to me via email. What’s going on is this Costa Rican artist has tied a starving dog to a chain under a sign made up of dog biscuits that reads in English “You are what you read” while playing music backwards and lighting 175 pieces of crack cocaine in a giant incense burner.
Yeah, I know, pretty “out there” ain’t it? Silly artists…
People are outraged. Somewhere around 1 million people have signed a petition to keep this artist from doing it again. But the artist, Guillermo “Habacuc” Vargas, claims it was a piece that played tribute to a man who was killed by two Rottweiler dogs a few years ago and that no one tried to stop his piece of art as the dog starved to death (the gallery owner says the dog did not die).
And in no way am I coundoning the act of startving a dog, but I must commend the artist for his commitment and vision in the project. He took a huge gamble with this, and I think that if he did try and recreate this work of art the PETA freaks would be there covered in cow blood scooping the dying pup and running for the hills.
You can sign the petition to keep the artist from showing his work again HERE
Or you can be like me and remember the first amendment and not sign it.
Topics: Story | 3 Comments »
SEX AND THE CITY DEATH!!! FALLOUT FROM KRISTIN DAVIS SEX PICS?
By FaynerIsBack | April 18, 2008
Whatever “Sex and the City’s” Cynthia Nixon was paid for being in the upcoming film version of the hit HBO series, she deserves a raise.
The actress let it slip to host Billy Eichner during the Creation Nation comedy show at the Zipper Theater on Apr. 15 that “a character dies in the movie.” And in turn, Nixon made the SATC movie — dare we say — interesting.
Nixon refused to divulge who dies, opening the door for the blog world to start positing its own theories. Among the favorites:
- New York magazine’s Daily Intel Blog, which settles on Charlotte (cause of death: “freak tennis accident”) because it “can’t think of a reason not to kill Charlotte.”
- The Vulture blog, also from NY magazine, puts its money on Mr. Big. “Big’s death will end the first act of the movie, which will be followed by a tasteful period of mourning, and then a montage. Carrie will end the movie sad, but plucky, with a new (or old!) guy on the horizon and the prospect for sequels bright.”
Not a bad theory at all, but Scoop will refrain from conjecture for now and be pleased to think that maybe there is a plot twist out there that can be kept mostly secret.
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
HOMELESS GUY FINDS BLUEPRINTS FOR NEW WTC IN TRASH
By Fayner | April 18, 2008
Oh boy.
This stuff just can’t be made up: a white homeless guy in NYC stumbled upon two sets of blueprints for the new Freedom Tower (gayest name ever for a building, being built where the twin towers once stood) when he was looking for food in a trash can.
In the wrong hands, these blueprints would be used to take down the new tower by terrorists with ease. In the right hands - the homeless guy - the worse thing that could happen is he’d wipe his ass with the blueprints.
Either way, it was not good that they got out. One of the sets was missing 14 pages. Sweet.
Listen, I know the government got away with taking the WTC down back in 2001, but are they that cocky now that they’re taunting us with a future planned disaster? Probably not, but I wouldn’t put it past them.
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TODD TODD
By FaynerIsBack | April 18, 2008
We’d like to extend happy birthday wishes to Todd Todd, industry photographer and director. Go to Todd’s myspace page and wish him a happy birthday, you’ll also find details to his birthday bash there as well.
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ACTOR JEFF CONWAY BACK DOING COCAINE?
By Fayner | April 18, 2008
I got a call from a super-reliable source today telling me that last weekend they snorted cocaine with Taxi star and recent Celebrity Rehab patient Jeff Conway.
Then I called another person I knew was at the same party, and after some convincing I talked them into admitting that they too snorted blow with the one-time television and movie star.
Am I jealous? Yes. Do I wish I was there snorting coke? Yes.
But from what I saw of the Rehab show, Jeff should not be taking drugs. He’s already super fucked up.
But cocaine has a special power over people like Jeff Conway and myself, and sometimes it gets the best of us.
Poor Jeff.
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420 PARTY… BE THERE
By FaynerIsBack | April 18, 2008
(I’m posting this entire article on pot and 420 because I dare one stoner to read it through completely. Impossible)
FROM MSNBC - A once clandestine counterculture pot-smoking “holiday” observed each April 20 has crossed into the mainstream this year with public gatherings that will attract thousands of participants and marketing campaigns that tout a trio of marijuana-themed movies.
As anti-drug activists chafe, the so-called “420” (pronounced “four-twenty”) celebrations “are taking on a life of their own,” said Allen St. Pierre, executive director of the National Organization to Reform Marijuana Laws, who has been working on marijuana issues for 17 years.
St. Pierre, who thought the phenomenon was peaking about 10 years ago, has instead watched it continue to grow, thanks to the commercial efforts and “a remarkable cultural push for something that is not owned by anything, that nobody profits from per se.” It is now “highly institutionalized,” he said, ticking off dozens of events tied to the date, many organized by NORML’s 140 chapters across the nation. He said he expects to do as many as 75 media interviews this year on April 20.
While there are lots of legends on the Internet and elsewhere about the origins of “420,” “4:20” and “4/20” as terms for both marijuana itself and indulging in it, the most widely accepted is that the label came from students at a Marin County, Calif., high school in the early 1970s. The young stoners reportedly would meet after classes let out, at 4:20 p.m., to share their drugs in an era when the activity was less tolerated by society – and the legal system.
Code word and inside joke
For years, the 420 label remained obscure enough to be a viable code and inside joke. But by the late 1990s, it was being pressed into use everywhere from personal ads – “420 friendly” – to clocks and scoreboards in the background scenes of popular movies. Perhaps its most noticeable effect was the choice of April 20 as a day of reefer reverence, chiefly on American college campuses.
Two of the biggest annual celebrations are held at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and the University of Colorado, Boulder, both of which draw thousands of students and outsiders despite past attempts to crack down on the gatherings.
But as campus administrators brace for the unwelcome publicity that attends the thick clouds of marijuana smoke rising above their campuses, film industry entrepreneurs are rubbing their hands in anticipation of money to be made.
A comic documentary, “Super High Me,” the new “Harold and Kumar” release and the mockumentary “Totally Baked” all have marketing and advertising schemes linked to April 20.
The trend disturbs anti-drug activists who say mounting scientific evidence indicates that Americans should reject marijuana use.
‘It’s a tragedy’
“It’s tragic for our country,” Dr. Bertha Madras, deputy director of demand reduction in the White House drug office, said in an interview with msnbc.com. “It is a tragedy that this is a media circus event and it does not take into account what I have seen in treatment centers, what I have seen in weeping parents who have asked me for help with their children.”
Madras, a Harvard Medical School professor and addiction researcher for 20 years before going to work for the White House in 2006, said the high potency of today’s marijuana has increased its addictive properties. More kids from ages 12 to 18 — nearly 200,000 — are in treatment across the nation for pot abuse than any other substance, including alcohol, Madras said.
April 20 is “not a special day or unique day for me,” Madras said. “It’s one more day in trying to convince people that marijuana is a harm to their present and future.”
Pot aficionados don’t see it that way. They happily use April 20 events to proselytize a herb that they say is a better recreational substance than alcohol and other drugs, and also has medicinal and other uses.
“We are just trying to educate the students about marijuana and reform marijuana laws,” said Alex Douglas, spokesman for the University of Colorado, Boulder, chapter of NORML. Douglas said that while Boulder’s 420 event is “the largest gathering of people smoking marijuana in the world,” he personally will not be lighting up at the gathering because he would like it to be taken seriously as a “huge venue for activism.”
The same goes for Mason Tvert, a Denver-based activist whose organization — the Safer Alternative for Enjoyable Recreation, or SAFER — has helped pass two local laws aimed at ending prosecution of marijuana users. Members of SAFER believe that pot smokers cause far fewer societal and criminal problems than drinkers. The group has used 420 events “to hand out education literature on the differences between alcohol and marijuana and try to get people to talk about it.” Denver’s 420 event in Civic Center Park has attracted big crowds in recent years.
But most people who attend 420 events are there to get high, judging by the photographs and videos of previous gatherings posted online. On YouTube.com, videos show throngs of people racing to light up at Porter Meadows at UC Santa Cruz last year and chanting out the countdown to 4:20 p.m. at Boulder’s Norlin Quad. Cameras then pan over the thousands of participants at each event, capturing smiling, cheering and high-fiving beneath a fog of dope smoke.
“It was really insane how many people showed up,” said Eric Hengesbaugh, 19, who filmed last year’s Santa Cruz event as a freshman on the redwood-studded campus overlooking the Pacific Ocean.
Commercial connection
Such devotion to 420 festivities has grabbed the attention of filmmakers with projects about pot, or featuring it. “Totally Baked,” a mockumentary written and produced by comedian Craig Shoemaker, premiered on April 20, 2007, and is being distributed on DVD just after 420 this year.
“Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo,” a comedy featuring John Cho and Kal Penn as a pair of hapless pot smokers, is being released April 25, and will be promoted with a prominent advertising campaign and other 420 content on the High Times Magazine Web site. “Harold and Kumar’s” maker, New Line Cinema, is a Hollywood powerhouse, a Time Warner company with over $1 billion in annual revenue and deals throughout the entertainment world that include NBC and Microsoft, msnbc.com’s parent companies.
But the most ambitious 420-linked marketing campaign belongs to the makers of “Super High Me,” who are giving away DVD copies of the film to anyone who promises to air a public or private showing of it on April 20. The documentary parody of the fast-food film “Super Size Me” follows comedian Doug Benson as he first abstains from marijuana for 30 days and then smokes as much as he can for the next 30 days, taking physical, psychological and SAT tests during both periods.
Hoping for 800 screenings
“We’ve got 401 screenings scheduled right now” for April 20, said Chris Hyams of B-Side, an entertainment technology company that is helping market and distribute the film. “By the time of the event we expect 800.”
Hyams had to talk film producer Alex Campbell into the ploy. “My first instinct was there’s no way I’m going to give this movie away for free,” Campbell said. “I’m an independent filmmaker and I haven’t made any money on it. But he said he then got to thinking that “people are going to watch it, they’re going to love it, they’re going to buy it.”
Campbell may need the word-of-mouth action generated by the give-away as the film drew tiny audiences to one of a handful of April 11 premieres in West Coast theaters, the Admiral Twin in Seattle.
While “Super High Me” viewers queue up, officials and cops at the nation’s 420 hot spots will have to decide how to handle the crowds that descend on their campuses. Weed fanciers familiar with the scene say the fact that April 20 lands on a Sunday this year will likely mean larger crowds, not smaller ones.
In Boulder, university spokesman Bronson Hilliard said officials accept that they can’t really stop the event. “There was a period of three or four years where we were trying something different every year,” he said. “One year the sprinklers came on and it was a kind of cold day and the party was over. In 2006, we tried posting photos of students and offering reward money.” But after that plan backfired spectacularly amid threats of a lawsuit from a prominent civil rights attorney, new leadership on campus backed off.
‘A silly, unnecessary event’
“This is a sort of annoyance,” Hilliard said. “It’s a silly, unnecessary event that we don’t want to make into a cause célèbre. We will have law enforcement present but we won’t have a large demonstration of law enforcement. They’re only really looking to make sure that people come and go safely and that things like overt drug dealing doesn’t happen.”
At Santa Cruz, after an attempted crackdown by university administrators and police was completely ignored by 420 participants last year, officials have considered restricting access to the rural campus. But university spokesmen did not respond to repeated requests about their plans.
Aggressive tactics did work at the University of Vermont, Burlington, once the scene of large annual 420 observances that have since died out, according to campus police Chief Gary Margolis. Margolis said that strong police efforts were aided by involvement from student government and an alternative event called “Spring Fest.”
Douglas, of the Boulder NORML chapter, applauds the grudging tolerance now in vogue on his campus and says his group has communicated with university police and officials about each other’s expectations. He said he anticipates a crowd of 10,000 will attend this year’s event.
“I’m hoping and praying it’s going to be good weather,” Douglas said. He’s also hoping for a scene as “indescribable” as the one he saw last year, complete with “random butterfly girls … fairies with big wings running around the crowd, just ridiculous.”
Pot use is down among teens
Such comments are deeply troubling to Madras of the White House Drug office, who pointed out that marijuana use has declined about 25 percent in recent years among teens 12 to 17.
“We’ve made tremendous headway in clarifying the hazards of marijuana use and then along come these yahoos who are countering this progress with media events and with marketing events and with money-making events … money made at the expense of the brain, the body and the behavior of susceptible people,” she said.
Topics: Story | 8 Comments »
LET THEM EAT PUSSY
By FaynerIsBack | April 18, 2008
from OC WEEKLY - It seems Orange County can’t bear the thought that it is nationally renowned for being full of normal, educated couples who (gulp) swing. Yes, swing, as in got out and have recreational sex in a safe environment with your partner or with other people’s partners on a regular basis. Or maybe it’s the OC Register that can’t bear the thought. Accept it, guys. It’s not going to hurt. (Unless, you know, that’s what you’re into.)
Years ago, a home and part-time sex club known as The Panther Palace was hounded by the city of Costa Mesa for not having the proper permits. The county’s latest victim is Club Amnesty, the friendly, mellow sex club we profiled last month (See “Swing Shift”).
After our article ran, the Register started asking questions and began to dig for whatever scummy sex dirt they could find. That’s the thing with sex in this county: If it happens in a way that’s not missionary and monogamous, there must be something wrong. Wrong! And it must be stamped out.
So the Reg decides to sic not one, but three reporters (a threesome!) on the club soon after our article ran. City officials in Orange began to investigate and, voila, you’ve got business license and code violations, a mayor crying out in shock and disbelief and a tawdry sex club exposed. Exposed! (Actually, as sex clubs go, this one is known nationally for being one of the friendliest, nicest places to visit. But that part didn’t quite make it into the article.)
The big, dirty violation, you ask? The wrong box was checked on the sexually-oriented business application. But the application PDF featured in the article is for the photography studio which the club owners also run, not the club. Does another application exist for the club itself, with the proper box checked? And even if it doesn’t, this violation should be correctable right? The fire-code violations are definitely correctable. But now the city has ordered the club to shut down unless the problems are fixed by May 1.
Owner Gary Nalder told the Reg he now has plans to sell the building and close up shop. Makes sense: It’s too public now. The club—and its many professional patrons—operate on the premise that the location remain discreet. There are far too many people who refuse to believe that healthy, married couples do indeed swing. And—surprise!—they’re not freaks.
The Reg article makes the club seem like a seedy, covert sex club that deceived city officials by masquerading as a photography studio. Instead of quoting many of the generous, easygoing OC professionals we met at Club Amnesty, the article offers up a few quotes from probably one of few porn-star club regulars. Gee. You guys dug real deep for that one.
If the Reg folks remember, our article explicitly pointed to the fact that the great majority, if not all, of the couples we met and spoke with at Club Amnesty were normal, tax-paying, generally white, generally married (for years) people who were sober and friendly and did not in any way, shape or form resemble porn stars. They were just nice people doing something that this county, and the U.S. in general, can’t seem to stomach: having sex as consenting adults in a responsible manner. What we found at the neat, well-run club were a few roomfuls of grown-ups behaving better than most people behave at the local watering hole.
I’m sad to see Gary and Robin go, as are probably the thousands of patrons—police officers, teachers, engineers, moms and dads—who feel like the rug has been pulled out from under their feet as well. Municipal code violations always seem to miraculously appear when there is an interest in suppressing perceived moral code violations. Especially here. Especially when it comes to sex. And that fear of human sexuality just ran a well-liked local business out of town.
Way to blow the lid off of nookie, Register.
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SHERIFF RUNS WET TSHIRT CONTEST AND SEX SLAVE OP FROM INSIDE JAIL
By FaynerIsBack | April 18, 2008
ARAPAHO, Okla. -An Oklahoma sheriff resigned after an investigation reveals he was running a sex-slave operation from his jail, police said.
Michael Burgess surrendered to Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation agents and posted bond Wednesday night, hours after he resigned as Custer County sheriff amid 35 felony charges, including accusations of forcible oral sodomy, kidnapping, rape and perjury. Investigators said at one point Burgess oversaw wet T-shirt contests at the Custer County Jail.
The 35 charges against Burgess include bribery of a public official, indecent exposure, 14 counts of rape in the second degree and rape by instrumentation.
The Texas County district attorney started looking into Burgess in May 2007 when a participant in the Washita-Custer County drug court program told investigators that Burgess made her have sex with him on a threat of sending her to prison. Because of a conflict of interest, Custer County prosecutors handed the case to Texas County authorities.
According to an affidavit signed by District Attorney James Boring, Burgess compelled a Weatherford woman to travel to Oklahoma City and meet him at the Biltmore Hotel for sex in April 2006. The same woman had sex with Burgess under duress at a Clinton truck stop parking lot and at her home.
Once the investigation of Burgess got going, the former sheriff is accused of having another woman go to the alleged victim’s home in Weatherford to remove incriminating evidence against him in exchange for securing her brother’s release from prison.
Other accusations outlined in the affidavit include testimony from a former sheriff’s deputy, who said Burgess groped her between Oct. 1 and Nov. 30, 2005. Burgess also allegedly forced a drug-court probation violator to perform oral sex on him in his county vehicle.
Perjury charges stem from an incident in which Burgess allegedly helped a Custer County woman falsify and secure a protective order against another man. The affidavit states that Burgess directed and coached the woman “as to facts she was to present and which she in fact testified to under oath” with regard to the protective order.
Burgess had been sheriff in Custer County since 1994, and these accusations have the entire region talking. Residents said that if the accusations turn out to be true, it sends a bad message.
“That you can’t really trust anybody no matter if they’re in power because people in power abuse their power,” said Kim Whiteshirt.
If convicted on all counts, Burgess could face a sentence of up to 467 years in prison. Authorities told Eyewitness News 5 that Burgess is also involved in a lawsuit over accusations of inappropriate actions.
A source in Custer County also told Eyewitness News 5 that while it’s likely the county’s undersheriff would take over as sheriff, details of succession would probably be ironed out on Thursday.
Eyewitness News 5 has left a message with Burgess’ attorney but has not yet received a return call.
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NO ONE WANTS SPANISH MILF CALENDAR
By FaynerIsBack | April 18, 2008
MADRID, Spain - AP - Seven middle-aged Spanish mothers who posed for a tongue-in-cheek nude calendar — a fundraiser for their children’s tiny, rural school — are now saddled with debt and 5,000 unwanted copies.
One of the photos shows the mothers with Christmas tinsel as their only garb — no private parts on view. Other goofy poses include a shotgun-toting mother wearing only a fox pelt and kneeling on a table, and another shows a woman covering her body with a red umbrella on a picnic table.
A group of British women made more than a million pounds and worldwide headlines when they came up with the idea of a discreet nude calendar for 2000 to raise money for leukemia research. Their story was made into a hit movie, “Calendar Girls.”
In Spain, the photos came out as calendars in November and at first proved to be a big hit. But the plan fizzled.
No recycling a calendar
The women acknowledge being rank amateurs in publishing and advertising, and because of a miscue with a distributor they missed out on the Christmas shopping rush. Now, sales of the $8 calendar have dried up and they owe a printer nearly $16,000.
“The sad part for us is figuring out what to do with them because it is not something you can recycle,” said Rosa Garin, 36, one of the models in Serradilla del Arroyo, a village of 400 people in northern Salamanca province.
The hamlet is a snapshot of rural Spain: quaint but graying, with retirees accounting for 75 percent of the population. The arrival of a new family with small children is greeted like manna from heaven. Funding for services is scant.
Its elementary school has one classroom and one teacher who handles its seven pupils, spanning four grades, and ranging in age from 7 to 11. But it is so cramped, the village matrons came up with the idea of building a recreation center for their kids.
“Nobody remembers the villages. Everybody comes and says, ‘Wow, this is so pretty, what lovely countryside, you live so well here,’ but then they don’t help you at all. They give you absolutely nothing,” Itziar Zamarreno, a 40-year-old town councilor who posed for the calendar, said in an interview Tuesday.
Among other pictures, she appears as Miss October, covered only with fox fur and holding a borrowed shotgun. This reflects a desire to depict typical scenes in an area where hunting is popular.
“I do not like to hunt. I do not like to kill things. But we had to do something representative,” she said.
The plight of the mothers of Serradilla del Arroyo resurfaced recently because the distributor filed a complaint alleging they were behind on payments and local media picked up the story.
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A RAPPER LIED ABOUT BEING A THUG?? SAY IT AIN’T SO!
By Fayner | April 17, 2008
Have you heard of the rapper Akon? I haven’t. I keep thinking his name is Acorn, and that my friends is not the coolest of names if you ask me but you didn’t so forget it.
Well, our dear friend Akon has, according to an awesome investigation at the Smoking Gun, been fabricating his thug life (is that still what the kids are calling it? Thig Life?) for many years claiming he was the ringleader in a car theft operation and a prisoner for years in various jails for felonies.
Allegedly, this was all made up to make him seem tougher so that white kids everywhere will idolize him.
What a bitch. Now instead of being seem as a gangsta he’s seen as a punk-ass fag. Good.
Read what the Smoking Gun had to say, it’s a great article. Go Here to read it.
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
IT GOES DOWN THE THROAT, NOT THROUGH IT
By Fayner | April 17, 2008
Okay, so I was trying to go somewhere with this title above but felt it was a bit too strange writing about oral sex with dogs so I’ll just end it here and go on to the story at hand…
I was running errands yesterday morning, and one minute after coming home and sitting down the phone rings. It was Keith.
“Get over here right now!” Keith yelled into the phone.
“What happened?” I asked.
“Smokie [his and Taylor’s dumbass Pit Bull] is hurt bad! She got a stick jammed into her throat! There’s blood everywhere!”
“So take her to the vet,” I replied.
“That’s why I’m calling you! Come and take her!”
I did. The whole ride over I’m thinking Smokie is about to die, that there’s a giant hole into her throat and she will either bleed to death or not be able to breath and will die.
I show up at their house and grab Smokie. Okay, so the hole is super huge and there is blood, but the stick or whatever it was that lodged into her wasn’t through her throat but through her chest. I could see inside her. Yucky!
I got to the Vet hospital and brought Smokie inside. All the other people waiting with their tiny dogs got all sick from looking at Smokie’s deep wound. Finally I got to see the doctor.
Turns out Smokie was very lucky that the hole was where it was; any farther up or down and she’d probably be dead. But she’s fine. $200 worth of stitches and we were out the door.
Now most dogs would realize they were hurt and would lay down on the couch all cute and milk it or all its worth. But not Smokie; she tried to jump into the fucking pool!
What a dumbass.
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TAYLOR RAIN SLACKING? NO WAY
By FaynerIsBack | April 17, 2008
She blogs on her website www.clubtaylorrain.com: Hey everyone! Sorry for slacking on your ‘comments’. I just read a TON of them and approved them. To the guy who asked me ‘how much for a preggo private’ EWWWWW, gross!!!!!!!!!
Keep leaving me comments! I love em! I also asked my guys to build a forum too, so you could post other shit too.
Hope you guys are enjoying all the updates! OH and guess what…. when you join clubtaylorrain.com now, you get access to ALL the other sites in our network FREE… thats my site plus 15 other sites for FREE!!!! So join now!!!
Holler!!!!!!!!
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BUT IT WOULD BE SO COOL FOR LIKE A QUARTER OF A SECOND
By Fayner | April 16, 2008
I don’t know if I believe him, but the head honcho over at the Institute for Health Management and Mass Destruction Defense at the University of Georgia says that within 20 years there will definitely be a nuclear bomb attack in Washington, D.C. which will easily kill 100,000 and then contaminate thousands more.
Yeah, I know, it would be a huge bummer if it happened, but oh what a sight it would be, right? I’ve always imagined being swept up in a huge tornado being a wonderful way to die, but now I think there could be no more powerful a death than a nuclear bomb other than GOD coming down and shoving a lightning bolt through your abdomen with his bare knuckles and screaming, “Take that, bitch!” while he jerks off into Lake Michigan.
Even though I just gave you the gist of the story I feel obliged to give you the place I stole it from and that is right HERE
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COOLEST NEWS EVER!
By Fayner | April 16, 2008
I read today that on May 10th of this year the World Population will be 6,666,666,666!
Holy smoke! I can just imagine what would happen if insane people got ahold of this information; there’d probably be a lot less people after the murder sprees ended…
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X-FILES SEQUEL ‘I WANT TO BELIEVE’
By FaynerIsBack | April 16, 2008
LOS ANGELES - The truth is finally out there about the new “X-Files” movie title.
The second big-screen spinoff of the paranormal TV adventure will be called “The X-Files: I Want to Believe,” Chris Carter, the series’ creator and the movie’s director and co-writer, told The Associated Press.
Distributor 20th Century Fox signed off on the title Wednesday.
The title is a familiar phrase for fans of the series that starred David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson as FBI agents chasing after aliens and supernatural happenings. “I Want to Believe” was the slogan on a poster Duchovny’s UFO-obsessed agent Fox Mulder had hanging in the cluttered basement office where he and Anderson’s Dana Scully worked.
“It’s a natural title,” Carter said in a telephone interview Tuesday during a break from editing the film. “It’s a story that involves the difficulties in mediating faith and science. ‘I Want to Believe.’ It really does suggest Mulder’s struggle with his faith.”
“I Want to Believe” comes 10 years after the first film and six years after the finale of the series, whose opening credits for much of its nine-year run featured the catch-phrase “the truth is out there.”
Due in theaters July 25, the movie will not deal with aliens or the intricate mythology about interaction between humans and extraterrestrials that the show built up over the years, Carter said.
Instead, it casts Mulder and Scully into a stand-alone, earth-bound story aimed at both serious “X-Files” fans and newcomers, he said.
“It has struck me over the last several years talking to college-age kids that a lot of them really don’t know the show or haven’t seen it,” Carter said. “If you’re 20 years old now, the show started when you were 4. It was probably too scary for you or your parents wouldn’t let you watch it. So there’s a whole new audience that might have liked the show. This was made to, I would call it, satisfy everyone.”
Hardcore fans need not worry that the movie will be going back to square one, though, Carter said. The movie will be true to the spirit of the show and everything Mulder and Scully went through, he said.
“The reason we’re even making the movie is for the rabid fans, so we don’t want to insult them by having to take them back through the concept again,” Carter said.
Carter said he settled on “I Want to Believe” from the time he and co-writer Frank Spotnitz started on the screenplay. It took so long to go public with it because studio executives wanted to make sure it was a marketable title, he said.
The filmmakers have kept the story tightly under wraps to prevent plot spoilers from leaking on the Internet, a phenomenon that barely existed when the first movie came out in 1998.
“We went to almost comical lengths to keep the story a secret,” Carter said. “That included allowing only the key crew members to read the script, and they had to read it in a room that had video cameras trained on them. It was a new experience.”
Topics: Gossip | No Comments »
JANE’S ADDICTION IS BACK!
By Fayner | April 16, 2008
One of my all-time favorite bands ever has reunited for like the fifth time in 15 years but this time it is different because original bassist Eric Avery is back in the band since leaving 17 years ago!
The bassist in my old band Dan Gerzone (Dangerzone!) is Dave Navarro’s guitar tech now, and I just tried calling him as soon as I heard the news to get me into the NME Award show next Wednesday night at the El Rey. He probably won’t get me in. But I want to. Real bad.
I’d probably even blow him…
Topics: Story | No Comments »
THE END OF ‘ROB N BIG’ ON MTV
By FaynerIsBack | April 16, 2008
from Big Blacks Myspace page…
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL MY FRIENDS& FANS FOR THE OUTPOURING OF LOVE AND CONGRATS FOR MY BIRTH OF MY LITTLE GIRL BUT GOOD THINGS COME TO AN END &THAT’S WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT AS YOU HAVE ALREADY HEARD BY NOW THERE WILL BE NO SEASON 4 OF ROB&BIG IM TAKEING A NEW STEP IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW &THAT IS FATHERHOOD AND ITS WAY BETTER THAN ANY REALITY SHOW OUT THERE ,THERE IS A TIME WHEN U MUST GROW UP &TAKE CARE OF RESOPNSIBLITES REAL MEN IN AMERICA KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER ARE JUST LYING TO THEMSELVES,LITTLE GIRLS NEED THERE DADDYS AND I WILL BE THERE FOR MINE,TILL MY TIME IS UP IVE BEEN DOING WORK ALL MY LIFE NOW IM DOING WORK AS FATHER..THANKS U FOR WATCHING THE REALIEST SHOW OUT THERE..PS U WILL SEE ME ON TV AGAIN MY OWN SHOW, MY OWN CREATIONS WITH MY CHUNKY BOY FAMILY WHERE REAL RESPECT & LOVE IS SHOWN..BE ON THE LOOKOUT!!
Topics: Story | 6 Comments »
WHY I SUCK
By Fayner | April 16, 2008
So today I’m in a good mood, right, and I’m cruisin’ from the dog park with Rhi riding shotgun and the silly bloodhound in the back and I’m singing along to Skid Row’s I Remember You and everything is going well and then Pat Benetar’s Shadows of the Night is on and I get really into it and I stop at a red light and a car pulls up beside me so I turn down the music as not to seem like too much a fag for listening to Pat Benetar.
“Hey, aren’t you Scott Fayner?” the guy asks after I glance over at him. “I’m friends with your buddy Mike, been reading your shit for a long time now!”
“Thanks” I replied.
“Were you listening to Pat Benetar?”
“I was.”
He began laughing, then
“You suck!” he yelled and drove off.
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
ANAL INFECTIONS ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS
By FaynerIsBack | April 16, 2008
Odds are about 50-50 that a sexually active woman will contract the virus that causes cervical cancer at some point in her life, but researchers in Hawaii have discovered that the risk of infection may be just as high in another disturbing site.
Anal infections of human papillomavirus, known as HPV, appear to be as common as cervical infections, according to an article published in the April issue of the Journal of Infectious Diseases.
Half of the women in the multi-year study acquired new anal HPV infections during the trial period. Counting women infected at the start of the study, roughly 70 percent of women tested positive for anal HPV during clinic visits.
That’s similar to known risks for cervical HPV infection, said Brenda Y. Hernandez, a lead author of the study and an assistant professor at the Cancer Research Center of Hawaii in Honolulu.
“What we’re seeing here is likely to be comparable to what is seen among primarily young, sexually active women on the U.S. mainland,” Hernandez said.
The suggestion that the risk of anal HPV infection is as common the risk of cervical infection is a new one, said Dr. Debbie Saslow, director of breast and gynecologic cancer for the American Cancer Society.
“It is a little surprising, yes,” she said.
It’s not clear exactly how the women contracted anal HPV. Those who developed infections were more likely to be young and white, with lower levels of education and income and a history of multiple sexual partners, the study showed. Women who engaged in anal sex were also at higher risk, though transmission could have occurred in other, non-sexual, ways.
The analysis was conducted among more than 430 college and community health clinic patients in Hawaii between 1998 and 2003. Although the study did not include a population-based sample, it likely reflects larger social trends, Hernandez said.
The findings are important because anal HPV infection is strongly linked with anal cancer, a rare but increasing disease that famously afflicted 1970s superstar Farrah Fawcett in 2006. The cause of Fawcett’s cancer isn’t known, according to media reports.
More than 4,600 people are diagnosed with anal cancer in the U.S. each year, and nearly 700 die from the disease. Incidence of the disease has been increasing slightly in recent years, cancer experts said.
However, it’s still less than half the nearly 12,000 cervical cancer cases diagnosed in women each year, and a only fraction of the nearly 3,700 deaths.
Although the cause of anal cancer remains unknown, about 90 percent of anal tumors show signs of HPV, researchers have found.
HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer in women, but it can also cause penile cancer in men and genital warts and other cancers in both sexes.
HPV is actually a group of more than 100 related viruses. Of those, about 30 to 40 percent infect the genitalia and about 15 percent cause cancer. Because the virus causes no symptoms and usually clears up without treatment, many people who have it don’t know it. Recurring infections, however, can boost the risk of cervical and other cancers, experts said.
Clues for sexual behavior
The study results are also important because they reveal additional information about the prevalence of HPV, the most common sexually transmitted infection in the U.S., Saslow said.
“People need to be aware of the risk and make personal decisions about behavior,” she said.
Other recent studies have suggested that sexual behavior such as oral sex may be associated with HPV cancers of the mouth and throat, and the same may be true of anal cancers, though there’s not a proven link.
The Hawaii study showed a greater risk of HPV infection in women who recently had anal sex, though the association wasn’t as high as researchers expected. Non-penetrative sex and use of fingers and sex toys also may have contributed to transmission of HPV, or the virus could have been shed from cervical secretions, the report said.
“It is also possible that responses to our questions regarding anal sex were less than candid,” the authors wrote.
Study participants were twice as likely to contract the high-risk strains of the HPV virus associated with cervical and other cancers than the low-risk variations of the virus, the report showed.
Because anal cancer is so rare, occurring in fewer than two of every 100,000 people, the higher risk of anal HPV infection shouldn’t cause women undue worry, said Hernandez, who noted that cervical cancer is obviously a higher public health priority.
No one is suggesting adoption of the routine screenings that detect 1 million cases of precancerous conditions in the cervix, said Saslow. “We don’t recommend any anal testing or anal Pap testing,” she said.
New vaccines may protect men and women
Nevertheless, it’s possible that new vaccines that target cervical HPV also will help decrease anal cancer. The only available vaccine, manufactured by Merck & Co., protects against the four strains of HPV that cause most cases of cervical cancer and genital warts.
Finding a way to decrease cases of anal cancer would be a boon, said Dorothy Hendrickson of Streamwood, Ill., who was diagnosed with the disease three years ago at age 58. Doctors say they don’t know what caused her cancer, she said.
“You think the cancer is bad? The treatment is horrendous,” said Hendrickson, who works for a freight company. “I spent six months lying on the bathroom floor.”
Her illness preceded Farrah Fawcett’s public diagnosis of anal cancer, and the reported return of the star’s disease after treatment. Hendrickson was among the first fans to post good wishes for Fawcett on a cancer blog.
She said she feels a special kinship with the former “Charlie’s Angel” star because the two were born just days apart in February 1947, and because they’ve both battled the rare disease.
“I felt so bad because I knew what she was going through,” Hendrickson said.
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
NUDE CELL PHONE PICS PART OF DATING
By FaynerIsBack | April 16, 2008
COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Forget about passing notes in study hall; some teens are now using their cell phones to flirt and send nude pictures of themselves.
The instant text, picture and video messages have become part of some teens’ courtship behavior, police and school officials said. The messages often spread quickly and sometimes find their way to public Web sites.
“I’ve seen everything from your basic striptease to sexual acts being performed,” said Reynoldsburg police Detective Brian Marvin, a member of the FBI Cyber Crime Task Force of Central Ohio. “You name it, they will do it at their home under this perceived anonymity.”
Westerville Central High School senior Jerome Ray said he’s received such unsolicited messages, including one from a classmate while he was sitting with his girlfriend.
“A lot more girls are aggressive,” said Ray, 18. “Some girls are crazy and they are putting themselves out there.”
Candice Kelsey, a teacher from California, said some teenage girls think they have to be provocative to get boys’ attention. As a result, they will send photos they hope their parents never see.
“This happens a lot,” said Kelsey, author of Generation MySpace: Helping Your Teen Survive Online Adolescence. “It crosses every racial socio-economic group. Christian kids are doing it. Jewish kids are doing it.”
Male teens are also doing it.
For instance, a central Ohio high school teen made a sexual cell phone video of himself and sent it to female classmates. One of the girls forward the Westerville South High School’s video to at least 30 other people.
A study last year found teens are placing more of an emphasis on image and fame than in the past. Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University who studies young people’s trends, found that teens are more confident and assertive than ever before.
“Adolescents are not known for thinking things through - that’s a generational constant,” she said. “Now, with the technology that is out there, instead of taking a picture and passing it around the classroom, it’s online, which is a whole different ball game. (Teens) don’t see it that way.”
Mark Raiff, a principal at Columbus’ Olentangy Liberty High School, said some of his students and their cell phones have caused trouble.
“They don’t see anything wrong with it,” he said. “It leaves me speechless.”
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DON’T LOOK UP
By FaynerIsBack | April 16, 2008
The Bush administration said yesterday that it plans to start using the nation’s most advanced spy technology for domestic purposes soon, rebuffing challenges by House Democrats over the idea’s legal authority.
Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said his department will activate his department’s new domestic satellite surveillance office in stages, starting as soon as possible with traditional scientific and homeland security activities — such as tracking hurricane damage, monitoring climate change and creating terrain maps.
Sophisticated overhead sensor data will be used for law enforcement once privacy and civil rights concerns are resolved, he said. The department has previously said the program will not intercept communications.
“There is no basis to suggest that this process is in any way insufficient to protect the privacy and civil liberties of Americans,” Chertoff wrote to Reps. Bennie G. Thompson (D-Miss.) and Jane Harman (D-Calif.), chairmen of the House Homeland Security Committee and its intelligence subcommittee, respectively, in letters released yesterday.
“I think we’ve fully addressed anybody’s concerns,” Chertoff added in remarks last week to bloggers. “I think the way is now clear to stand it up and go warm on it.”
His statements marked a fresh determination to operate the department’s new National Applications Office as part of its counterterrorism efforts. The administration in May 2007 gave DHS authority to coordinate requests for satellite imagery, radar, electronic-signal information, chemical detection and other monitoring capabilities that have been used for decades within U.S. borders for mapping and disaster response.
But Congress delayed launch of the new office last October. Critics cited its potential to expand the role of military assets in domestic law enforcement, to turn new or as-yet-undeveloped technologies against Americans without adequate public debate, and to divert the existing civilian and scientific focus of some satellite work to security uses.
Democrats say Chertoff has not spelled out what federal laws govern the NAO, whose funding and size are classified. Congress barred Homeland Security from funding the office until its investigators could review the office’s operating procedures and safeguards. The department submitted answers on Thursday, but some lawmakers promptly said the response was inadequate.
“I have had a firsthand experience with the trust-me theory of law from this administration,” said Harman, citing the 2005 disclosure of the National Security Agency’s domestic spying program, which included warrantless eavesdropping on calls and e-mails between people in the United States and overseas. “I won’t make the same mistake. . . . I want to see the legal underpinnings for the whole program.”
Thompson called DHS’s release Thursday of the office’s procedures and a civil liberties impact assessment “a good start.” But, he said, “We still don’t know whether the NAO will pass constitutional muster since no legal framework has been provided.”
DHS officials said the demands are unwarranted. “The legal framework that governs the National Applications Office . . . is reflected in the Constitution, the U.S. Code and all other U.S. laws,” said DHS spokeswoman Laura Keehner. She said its operations will be subject to “robust,” structured legal scrutiny by multiple agencies.
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TAINTED URINE
By FaynerIsBack | April 16, 2008
A South Salt Lake man has been charged in a drug case in which a 5-year-old boy tested positive for cocaine when a woman used the boy’s urine to cheat on a drug screening.
The woman, posing as a man, told authorities that “he” knew parents who were exposing their child to heroin and cocaine, court documents state. The woman admitted “he” used the 5-year-old’s urine to take a drug test, but the urine came back positive for cocaine.
Later tests on the child’s urine and hair also came back positive for cocaine and opiates, court documents state. A man, 54, was charged Monday with clandestine laboratory endangerment of a child, a third-degree felony. A woman codefendant - not the caller - was charged last week.
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HELP EVIL ANGEL! I MEAN, THEY HELP YOU JERK OFF…
By Fayner | April 15, 2008
Hello-
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BUSH IS THE BEST PRESIDENT EVER… HERE’S MORE PROOF
By FaynerIsBack | April 15, 2008
WASHINGTON - Bankruptcy filings jumped 38 percent last year compared with 2006, as many consumers struggled with higher mortgage payments and other debt loads, a nonprofit group said Tuesday.
The increase follows a significant drop in bankruptcy filings in 2006, after a new law made it more difficult for consumers to seek bankruptcy protection from creditors.
Total bankruptcy filings rose to 850,912 in 2007, from 617,660 the previous year, the American Bankruptcy Institute said, citing data from the Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts.
The ABI, whose members include lawyers, bankers, judges and lenders, in January had estimated that filings increased 40 percent based on data from a private research group.
Despite the increase, that’s still below the levels earlier this decade, when bankruptcies averaged 1.5 million annually.
Consumer bankruptcy filings rose to 822,590, up 37.6 percent from 597,965 in 2006. Business bankruptcies, meanwhile, increased 44 percent to 28,322 last year from a record low of 19,695 in 2006, the ABI said.
Business filings averaged 35,293 in the decade ending in 2007, the ABI said.
Retailers are among those that have been hard hit by the economic slowdown, and many have filed for bankruptcy protection, including Sharper Image Corp. and Lillian Vernon Corp.
The largest increases in filings came from California and Nevada, the ABI said, where the real estate bust has hit particularly hard. Bankruptcy filings jumped 98.5 percent in Nevada, the group said, while they increased by almost 94 percent in the federal court district in eastern California, which includes Sacramento and Fresno.
According to the report, the 10 states with the highest per capita filing rates were: Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Indiana, Michigan, Ohio, Nevada, Arkansas, Kentucky and Mississippi.
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
KEITH RICHARDS REALLY DID SNORT HIS DADS ASHES
By FaynerIsBack | April 15, 2008
I wondered whether the one-year anniversary of Keith Richards announcing that he snorted his father’s ashes should be commemorated. I was prepared to stand firm with my decision that some things are better left in the past, but my hand has been forced. Richards, who later denied the story, has now confirmed it to Blender magazine.
“I opened my dad’s ashes and some of them blew out over the table, just because of the suction of the lid, you know what I mean? I looked at my dad’s ashes down there and — what am I gonna do? Do I desecrate them with a dustbin and broom? So I wet me (sic) finger and I shoved a little bit of Dad up me (sic) hooter.
“The rest of them I put round an oak tree, which is coming up a treat. And I’m sure he’s still blessing me,” he told Blender.
Hopefully the two-year anniversary will pass without incident.
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JESSICA SIMPSON JEALOUS OF SISTER ASHLEE
By FaynerIsBack | April 15, 2008
In the days since news of Ashlee Simpson’s possible pregnancy broke, Simpson and her fiancé, Pete Wentz, have issued responses that have sometimes sounded like denials and sometimes just seem cagey. Since their reps have yet to issue a firm “no” on the matter, many outlets are standing by their sources and their story, that the 23-year-old pop star is indeed expecting.
OK! is one of those outlets, and the magazine reports that older sister Jessica is happy for Ashlee, but is having a tough time with the news. “Jessica Simpson has yearned for a baby for years. She’s told friends that she can’t wait to be a mom and has even joked that if she has to, she’ll resort to making her hairstylist pal Ken Paves the adoptive daddy,” the magazine reports.
“Jessica never imagined that her tomboy younger sister would have a baby first,” a source close to Jess told OK! “It would be very hard for her not to be jealous.”
A source close to Ashley concurs: “Jessica couldn’t be happier for her sister but still can’t help feeling jealous. She’d love to be planning a wedding with a baby on the way.”
Topics: Story | 3 Comments »
TMZ STAFF HAS ISSUES
By Fayner | April 15, 2008
I got an email this morning from someone sending me a story from TMZ where they were calling New England Patriots QB Tom Brady ‘Giselle’s Bitch’. That got me to thinking, TMZ is not a ‘gossip’ website or show at all it’s merely a website/show run by mostly uneducated closet homosexuals who like to pick on celebrities they don’t like.
80% of their stories are not news or gossip, it’s someone walking to their car, sitting down for lunch, catching a cab. News? Are you kidding? More like star gazers who have nothing to say or report.
Tom Brady makes $20,000,000 a year and dates one of the most beautiful women on the planet yet if you look at TMZ’s history all they do is poke fun at him and criticize him, and they’re serious about it.
I for one stopped watching TMZ about 6 weeks ago, I got sick of the ‘we got a picture of XXXXX shopping on Rodeo‘, or ‘we got video of XXXXX coming out of a restaurant‘. And having some dipshit guy with a camera lob stupid questions at a celebrity and the questions are completely ignored - that is NOT news. Showing Ben Affleck walk through an airport for 30 seconds ignoring some deuce bags questions, that’s news? That’s gossip? No, that’s ‘we don’t have any idea how to really do a news or gossip show so this is the best we have.’
Look at the TMZ staffers, the ones who actually DO the criticizing. The guy running it is a 4 foot 3 midget who’s day job is “People’s Court Street Reporter Bitch” and then after that gig he spends 30 minutes on camera sucking on a straw which is an obvious Freudian symbol to homosexuality, the guy wishes he was sucking on a penis.
Then you have the blonde surfer dude who’s a Leif Garrett wannabbee. The guy looks like such a flaming homosexual and if it weren’t for TMZ he’d be bagging groceries at Trader Joes. He has no talent, he has no intellect. All he does is spew criticism at rich and successful people while he remains a dipshit.
I love the blonde chick who’s always sitting in a chair criticizing everyone. She probably sits there to hide her fat ass. Notice that she has no chin? And her mouth always appears to be wide open as if to catch flies.
Then the blonde bitch boy with the short hair that’s always spiked up. He’s cross eyed and that’s really annoying! Most of his ‘reports’ are the ‘we got a picture of XXXX at the beach’. SO WHAT.
The show is clearly made up of people who probably attempted to get mainstream Hollywood jobs and were turned down, laughed at and thrown out and this is their payback. These idiots making $11.00 an hour are criticizing a guy making $20,000,000 a year. Jealousy. Stupidity.
Topics: Story | 1 Comment »
A BETTER STORY THAN TMZ ABOUT COUSIN LARRY
By Fayner | April 15, 2008
TMZ had a gripping article yesterday about the guy who played Cousin Larry on that 80s show Perfect Strangers. Check it out here.
I know, I know, that was a good story they put up; so compelling and well written, makes me wish I worked at TMZ.
All they did was get a picture of him. Lame. At least I got a story to go along with my Cousin Larry article!
So right after college I’m in Boston living in the empty 3 story house I grew up in after my folks hightailed it to Miami, just chillin and trying to stay away from some 16 year old slut who lived down the street and would blow anyone who bought her beer. My buddy Markunas called me up from NYC saying “Hey, I subletted Cousin Larry’s apartment in Alphabet City while he’s in Europe for the summer, wanna come and hang out for the summer?”
Cousin Larry’s apartment in NYC? Of course I’m going, right? Only a fool would turn down an offer like that. So I went by train to NYC and found my way down to 12th a A where he lived in the lower East Side.
It was the smallest one bedroom apartment you have ever seen. There was barely any room to move. There was a cat we had to take care of who was super old and puked all day in my suitcase. The air conditioning was, well, there was no air conditioning. And NYC gets HOT in the summer. The enighborhood at that time was nothing like the safety of my upbringing.
So the two of us slept on a tiny bed together sweating and dodging puke while murders and junkies and hookers loitered below in the street. I came up with a wonderful way to stay warm by tying a knot in the bottom of my t-shirt a la gay boy and stuffing the inside with ice cubes. Only problem is you wake up freezing cold and wet and become very sick.
Then there was the 12 year old black kids who used to threaten to beat me up every day as I went to get smokes from the store. And then there was the Notel Motel but that is a story I don’t really want to tell you right now.
One night maybe 2 weeks into moving there some friends came to visit with my car because I was gonna go back to Boston with them and see my parents who were visiting and we got wasted and bought one of those 3 packs of porn magazines and one of them happened to be an incest magazine called Family Touch and that dipshit Ronchinsky left it in my trunk and my mother found it and was like “What the fuck are you doing with an Incest magazine???” and I never went back to Cousin Larry’s again.
I hope his cat died.
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
BLACKMAIL! GAY MEMBER OF THE ROYAL FAMILY! COCAINE!
By Fayner | April 15, 2008
Two money-hungry guys had approached a Royal Family member with claims they have him on tape talking about performing a gay sex act on one of his senior aides, and asked for 50,000 pounds to keep the tape hidden. They also claim to have his senior aide snorting cocaine - or Charlie, as they call it in England - and talking shit on the Royal Family.
The two men tried to sell the story and video, but no one wanted it. So they turned to blackmail!
Gasp! Horror! E Gads!
The two douchebags got in contact with a member of the Royal Family to discuss this blackmailing scheme but that staff member turned out to be an undercover copy…Go Scotland Yard!…and the pair was arrested for trying to blackmail a member of the Royal Family. Of course, they deny everything.
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SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR A PORN FAN?
By FaynerIsBack | April 15, 2008
Washington (ANI): Hollywood actress Sarah Michelle Gellar has revealed that she tried to slip away with an X-rated prop off the film set for her movie ‘Southland Tales’ as a souvenir. The ‘Scooby Doo’ star who plays a porn star in the movie said that she wanted to keep the cover of her character’s bawdy video featuring her head superimposed onto another woman’s body having a “curvy body and butt”.
“I did try and to take the case for my character’s porn video. To make the cover look authentic, they put my face on someone else’s body,” Contactmusic quoted her as saying. “Normally if I see those pictures on the Internet, I’m calling my lawyer and suing someone! but because of my contract, they had to destroy all the pictures. They let me pick the body of the girl they put my head on: I picked one with a curvy body and butt,” she added.
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TODAYS FREE PORN
By FaynerIsBack | April 15, 2008
This may take a while….
click here and go to Modeling Matrix dot com. 500 free galleries were added yesterday and 500 galleries were added today, that’s 1,000 galleries in the last 2 days, plenty of free porn to help you get over the stress of tax day! Enjoy
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CHICK HERE TO SEE TONY TESTA’S CAR BURN!
By Fayner | April 14, 2008
Testa’s car caught on fire the other night while he was driving home from Hollywood. Real bummer. Luckily, he got out okay. I won’t go into details, but you’ll see in the video a car stop and ask Testa if he needs a ride. He should have taken it.
CLICK THE RED MINI COOPER TO SEE THE VIDEO
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CAM I FUCK YOU, JENNA HAZE?
By Fayner | April 14, 2008
There are many, many things to like about Jenna Haze: she’s adorable and slutty for starters. She’s also the consummate cockhound. I could go on for hours if I wanted to. But I don’t, ’cause you already know everything I’ll say, right?
So Jenna is doing one of them Cam Shows on Wednesday night and she wishes that you would attend and whack off to her as she does what comes naturally to her: being the perfect whore!
Log on to www. jennahaze. com on Wednesday night at 6 pm Pacific time.
Jenna promises that you won’t be disapponted. I doubt you will either.
Joining www. JennaHaze. com will also get you access to other awesome sites like JulesJordan. com & GinaLynn. com
Topics: Story | 2 Comments »
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