Scott Fayner Gossip and Blog

I was at a shoot the other day and somehow the topic of discussion amongst the porno folk turned to douches and enemas. It was probably due to the fact that all the girls were about to use a douche, but in my stoned state I can never be too sure.

I remember that when I heard what follows I was staring at August’s chest, and although after hearing it I remember looking at boobs just wasn’t that fun anymore.

Okay, so apparently some new chick was doing her first anal scene. The P.A. or whoever handed her an enema, said “Use it before your scene to clean yourself out.”

She went off to do just that.

Then came back. “I don’t feel so good,” she said.

The girl had drank the enema instead of shooting it up her rectum.

Awesome.

Fucking awesome.

No one remember what the girl’s name is, but if anyone out there knows who this happened to (or any other hilarious mishaps) be sure to let me know.

As this is a P.G. web site, I shall keep this at a decent volume.

I’d do lots of things to Cindy.

I’d bombard her with crab apples

I’d put gum in her hair

I’d kick her and then run away

I’d send her notes in science class with pictures of her with stink lines

I’d kick a friend in the nuts to make her smile

I’d give her my Drakes coffee cake. Well, some of it.

I’d ride my BMX bike real fast down her street and jump a curb while she raked leaves

I’d walk her home from school and tell her I like Prince’s music.

Okay, these were things I did back in Elementary School. I’m too scared to say what I really want to do to Cindy McCain.

And here I was thinking today was a shitty day. Boy was I wrong!

I just read this awesome story about how some scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have pretty much figured out how to make an artificial nose.

Obviously, people like me with pasts which are coated in cocaine and cocaine accessories are thrilled to hear this, as our noses have become more and more like swiss cheese as the years go by.

I want a new nose. Can I have one?

I was reading this morning about an apartment in New York where the landlord, wanting his rent-controlled tenants to move the fuck out so his bosses can make some real money on rent, decided to place dead rotten cats in the hallways so the stink forces the cheap-rent paying tenants out the door.

I guess it didn’t work ’cause they’re suing the building’s owner.

This made me think about how difficult it is to kick a porn chick out of their apartment. It’s pretty hard. I’ve seen it firsthand, a few times. I’ve threatened to toss everything a certain chick owns onto the street, and she was so high on speed she showed up three days later thinking everything is fine.

I doubt a dead cat would work on porn chicks after the horrible things they’re forced to smell on a daily basis. Plus, many of them smell worse themselves.

Ewwww.

I get up early these days, and once my eyes can fully register what the fuck is going on I rush over to the computer and check the porn sites for fun and exciting news and the such to help me start my day.

Okay, so that is a lie. I do get up early, but I never rush to the computer. That would be gay.

So what the hell is up with this guy Al Blanco who has been writing for LIB?

I mean, “ooohhh, I’m drinking booze in a soda cup that no one knows about and I’m going around begging porn chicks for pictures!”

Is that it?

That’s been done many, many , many times over the years.

But not by me. My stories have at least a grain of something exciting going on.

When does this geek go and snort cocaine into one of the chick’s asses? When does he take a leak on Mary Carey’s couch? When does he fuck a porn chick?

My guess is never.

And I ain’t jealous, I mean there’s nothing to get jealous of, right?

Porn chicks are here for us to do with them as we please.It is a waste to not take advantage of that.

Didn’t I interview Jenna Jameson back in my early years with cocaine all over my face after fucking some black porn chick named Cashmere who gave me sexually transmitted diseases while her cousin at Fat Burger and watched us?

Now that’s a story.

Maybe boring works for Luke Is Back, but ’round these parts just meeting a bunch of porno chicks doesn’t get you a story on Scottfayner.com.

Sorry, Al. One day you’ll learn.

I’m just upset that one day when I’m gone, guys like this are gonna fuck up everything I spent years, money and chunks of nose building.

I’ll be damned if I let that happen.

Here’s a number to savor: 2^43,112,609-1.

Its size is mind-boggling. With nearly 13 million digits, it makes the number of atoms in the known universe seem negligible, a mere 80 digits.

And its form is tidy and lovely: 2ⁿ-1.

But its true beauty is far grander: It is a prime number. Indeed, it is the largest prime number ever found.

The Great Internet Mersenne Prime Search, or GIMPS, a computing project that uses volunteers’ computers to hunt for primes, found the prime and just confirmed the discovery. It can now claim a $100,000 prize from the Electronic Frontier Foundation for being the first to find a prime number that has more than 10 million digits.

Prime numbers make up the “periodic table” of numbers, the building blocks that combine to form all numbers. A prime number is a whole number divisible only by 1 and itself. Euclid in 300 B.C. proved that there are infinitely many of them (click for his beautifully simple proof). Still, that doesn’t make them easy to find. At the beginning of the number line, the primes seem to be everywhere — 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13… — but in the number line’s more distant reaches, prime numbers become elusive.

Because 2^43,112,609-1 has the form 2ⁿ-1, it’s called a “Mersenne prime,” after a French monk born in the 16^th century who made an (incorrect) conjecture about them. Mersenne primes are of particular interest partly because they can be expressed in such a compact form. (It sure is easier to write 2^43,112,609-1 than to type out all 13 million digits!) More significantly, though, some clever methods have been developed to identify them.

The most obvious way to go about identifying any prime number is to try factoring it. First, try dividing by 3, then 5, then 7, etc., and if none of them work, you’ve got a prime. But the last time a new prime was identified this way was in 1588, because as the numbers get bigger, the division takes longer and longer. So mathematicians have developed clever tests for primeness that are simpler to compute. The best one of all, called the Lucas-Lehmer test, only works for Mersenne primes. Remarkably, the method requires no division at all, making it extremely quick.

Only 46 Mersenne primes have ever been found, and GIMPS has found 12 of them. The project recruits volunteers to donate their computers’ CPU cycles when they would otherwise be idle. Each computer works on a single number, first trying to find small factors. If that fails, it applies the Lucas-Lehmer test. A computer working full-time can test a single 10-million-digit number in eight days.

The processing power of all the individual computers linked together is equivalent to one of the most powerful supercomputers in the world. No supercomputer, though, would devote all its processing time to computing prime numbers.

The finding is unlikely to have significance for number theory, although number theory’s great unanswered question, perhaps, is to find how the prime numbers are distributed. Still, “you never know where discoveries may lead you,” says George Woltman, founder of GIMPS. “But really, it’s like climbing Mt. Everest. You do it because it’s there. It’s a lot safer, though. You can do it from the air-conditioned comfort of your home.”

Or, if you prefer, the air-conditioned comfort of your office. The computer that found the prime was administered by Edson Smith at the University of California, Los Angeles mathematics department. Smith downloaded the GIMPS software, and when the computers in the math department weren’t busy with other work, they searched for primes and communicated their results back to GIMPS.

This prime is the eighth found at UCLA, although the first with GIMPS. Half the prize money will go to the UCLA math department, a quarter will go to charity (probably a math department with an open faculty position for number theory, Woltman says) and most of the remainder will go to those who found previous Mersenne primes using GIMPS.

Remarkably, GIMPS found another Mersenne prime two weeks after this one – after a two-year dry spell with no new primes. This prime had fewer digits, just 11 million.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation became interested in prime hunting because it makes an excellent challenge problem for cooperative, distributed computing. “The award is an incentive to stretch the computational ability of the Internet,” says Landon Noll of Cisco Systems Inc., one of the judges for the Electronic Frontier Foundation prize and a discoverer of a former biggest known prime. More prizes remain to be claimed: a $150,000 award for a prime with 100 million digits, and a $250,000 award for one with a billion digits.

GIMPS has used well-established methods, while continuing to refine its implementations for greatest efficiency. Finding the numbers for the larger awards, though, will require major innovations, Noll says: “People are going to have to go back to the drawing board.” He points out that testing a single 100-million–digit number for primeness would take a single desktop computer more than four years, and testing a billion-digit number would take it more than 500 years. So at a minimum, he says, algorithms will have to be developed that allow multiple computers to test a single prime.

Current cryptographic systems rely on the challenge of factoring large primes. This task is distinct from verifying primeness, but the root difficulty is the same: limited computing power. Through this prize, “we maintain a pulse on what people might be able to do in breaking cryptosystems,” Noll says.

Okay, so I’m so smart I came up with a great idea for porn fans. Instead of trekking out to Vegas every January to wait in long lines to meet porn chicks, why don’t they just go to AIM Healthcare and sit outside and wait for the dozens of porn chicks who go in to be tested every day.

I was just down at the Granada Hills location and saw Kristal Summers. I know the Sherman Oaks location is much busier, so if I saw one porn chick in 5 minutes there I bet at least 5 an hour go into the other Valley location.

Go there now and count how many porn chicks come in and out in a day. You could meet more outside AIM than at the convention.

No lines, no ID badges and no money spent.

Brilliant.

Let me know how it goes for you.

Our good friend - and soon to be married - Sweet La Tipsy sent this to me from The Onion. I’m not sure everyone will get it who isn’t well-versed in 80s rock or Van Halen in particular, but I think it would be funny even if you know nothing about nothing.

But that’s me.

So here it is…

JAMIE CRYING

LOS ANGELES—According to local authorities, Jamie, 17, is crying, reportedly over a post-coital rejection by rock star David Lee Roth. “Although Jamie would feel better if she wrote David a letter, she is crying,” said former Van Halen manager Eddie Arnesen. Though sources say Jamie has been in love before, and that she knows what love is for, in this case it was a mere one-night stand, and love should be more than that. Arnesen added that despite the fact that when Roth and Jamie parted, the long-haired, vinyl-clad rocker said, “Gimme a call some time,” Jamie knows what that will get her.

I’ve seen a lot of great things. For instance, today I saw a bloodhound fall into a pool. That was pretty great. So were Charley Chase’s boobs as they fell out of her top.

But this, let me tell you, is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

You know, how in your daily existence you spend a lot of time on the computer?

Oh yeah, I know it!

Okay, now in that time you look at porn for work purposes, right, and sometimes you see things that may make you a little sick.

An example?

Sure. How about seeing anything that has to do with a guy and another guy having sex?

Perfect. And sure, gays are welcome to do whatever they please like drugging up potential gay guys and raping their asses all night while taking pictures.

Wait, what? No, it happened to a friend of mine. Not me.

To the point, I was over at IAFD and I saw in the top right corner a little thing that says SHOW GAY INFO? ON/OFF and you can decide if you want to see some dude dressed as a sailor shoving a dick in his mouth.

I for one do not.

Not that its wrong.

Every web site from Home and Garden to Office Max to Bicycle Weekly to this site should have the same option on it. I’m gonna ask my super nice web master if he can put that on my site.

Okay, so not the greatest thing ever, but whatever I don’t care anymore

First off, let me say that not in one million years would I ever think I’d be writing about an I Love Lucy porno movie. Ever. And that is why I am frightened.

But I am a journalist, and there is a code amongst us to always look for a good story, no matter how silly and scary that story is.

And ever since I heard that redheads don’t feel pain, I’ve found it discomforting even talking about them. Which is why when I said I would go down to the Hustler shoot for Everybody Loves Lucy I smacked myself hard in the face right afterwards.

Why the fuck would you do that?!

Is there anymore useless information I can bore you with before actually writing about the porn set I went down to visit yesterday? I can think of some, but today I think I will spare you from that even though right now as you’re reading this I’m wasting your time saying absolutely nothing about nothing and yet you keep on reading. If there were more than 300 readers of this site I would have to say this country has a serious educational problem.

I once caught my friend Neil’s dad beating off in the bath tub one late night when I was crashing at his house. There was splashing….then faster splashing….then faster….faster….fast…..boom! BOOM!!!!!!

Sorry, I can’t help myself.

So I went at the time I was supposed to be there. People were in the make-up chairs. Don’t you know who I am? I felt like saying. You shoot when I show up! Do you understand what I’m saying to you?!

I wish that’s how the world bounces. Nope. I get as much respect as a chick who takes her teeth out before giving you head.

Wait, is that a good thing or a bad? I’m confused royally now.

No, I would show a chick who took out her teeth out as she began lapping on my dick zero to not much respect at all.

So I was right? God I hope so.

Either way, I’m just saying that having a bunch of young pot smoking chicks move in makes Fayner babble about nothing.

So I went home and came back when Hustler Video Publicist Julie Ambrose called me. She is a very sweet gal. Almost too sweet. I kept an eye on her, not sure if she was going to make me a cup of tea and tuck me in to bed or jump on a table and jam a giant dildo in her ass. I could have gone for either, to tell you the truth.

Chatted with Otto Bauer, who if you don’t know, is an Austrian Social Democrat who is considered one of the leading thinkers of the left socialist Austro-Marxist tendency. He was also an early inspiration for both the for New Left movement and Eurocommunism in their attempt to find a “Third way” to democratic socialism.

Wait…no? Did I get him mixed up with another Otto Bauer?

Geez, what is wrong with me?!!!!

This Otto Bauer is that nasty guy who does nasty things to his wife Audrey Hollander’s asshole, which is starring along with the rest of her body in this movie as Lucy to Otto’s Ricky.

Scary, right? Couldn’t be more from the characters on the show. Well, I’m sure they were all kinda freaky in their private lives…

I’m brought to a room where Audrey is getting fucked by some guy in an space helmet and moon boots. Probably the last thing I’d ever expect to see in an I Love Lucy porn parody, but more power to ‘em. Audrey looks exactly like Lucy. The guy looks exactly like a oiled up guy in space helmet and moon boots, whatever you choose to say it looks like.

Then some other naked guy in a space helmet and one moon boot (the other foot had blue tape all over it) who was sitting in the corner jerking off comes up and says hi as he’s going outside to take a piss. He leaves the door open. The director yells to me: “Close the fucking door!” I say “I didn’t fucking leave it open!” “Yes you did!” One of the workers says to him, “It wasn’t him, it was the naked guy!” “I don’t fucking care, just close it!”

I closed it on my way out. I’ve seen enough to write a story.

Never a fan of the series, but I’m looking forward to seeing this ’cause Audrey always does something shocking and as a journalist that is my job.

There was a movie about Hunter S. Thompson called Where The Buffalo Roam starring Bill Murray back in the late 1970s. Although a classic in my eyes, I’m sure not a lot of people have seen it.

Anyway, there is a scene where Craig T. Nelson (from the show Coach) as a cop is testifying against some pot smoking hippies, and he declares something about how he thought one of the kids he arrested had a bomb in his pack of Marlboro cigarettes.

“You were looking for a bomb in a pack of cigarettes?” Murray shouts from the stands.

Well, this is what I was thinking when I read this morning about how at a baseball game in Philadephia between the Phillies and the Braves was postponed for a little bit because of a bomb scare stemming from a suspicious package of hot dogs.

Yeah, that’s what they discovered after evacuating the stadium: hot dogs.

This was after they blew them up.

Imagine how stupid they felt when their “bomb” turned out to be a couple hot dogs wrapped in foil.

Is this what America has become? Running and hiding from hot dogs? I know we should be on our toes following the government’s attack on its own country, but I believe this is going WAY too far!

It is a good thing no Philly Cheesesteaks were harmed during this fiasco. Someone would have had to pay for that mistake!

Read the story here

Listen, I know all about protecting friends. I do it all the time. Not tough guy protecting, of course, but when I hear things about my good friends that could be bad for their career, I somehow forget to write about it on this site. It is just part of the job.

And when there’s money involved, I’m even more protective of my friends. If Kayden Kross was my meal ticket, I would never have written a damn thing bad about her…ever. And if the story does get out, I make it my job to clear their name as best I can.

Just like Mike South is doing. He isn’t wrong in doing it, just in the fact that he’s on the wrong side of this debate. It happens. I’ve been there.

My only problem with Mike South other than the horrible smell he most probably has lingering around him at all times, is the fact that he wrote something mean about me.

And I have feelings, too, you know. Big ones that cry a lot.

This is what Mike wrote about me on his site:

“What nobody seems to comprehend is why a second rate, drug addled trust fund baby has such a grind with Kross?  Or maybe it’s Adam and Eve…who knows.”

And my problem isn’t with what Mike said about me but with the way he said it. It’s confusing to me.

Am I a second rate drug addict?

Or a second rate trust fund baby?

Which one?

I’m confused.

South must be refering to me being a seond rate trust fund baby, ’cause anyone who has ever known me or about me knows I was one hell of a good drug addict for a long time. First rate, all the way.

Barrett was at my house on Sunday shooting Massage Parlor. Scott Lyons was one of the guys hired to get whacked off.

Now, I haven’t seen Scott in quite a few years. The last thing I remember about him was that he weighed around 100 pounds and had a huge fucking cock.

The lovely and talented Charlie Chase was over, too, and we were drinking mimosas. When Scott was about to start his scene, I said to her, “go check out his dick! The guy is a freak of nature!”

She did. She came back and said, “I’m not impressed.”

So I went and looked, not because I like looking at cock but because I am an investigative journalist and it is second nature for me.

And low and behold, Charlie was right!

It seems Scott gained quite a few pounds over the years. I’d say he’s closer to 140 now, and obviously the extra weight on his body has made it so his dick looks smaller.

I never would have guessed that a 9 incher looks bigger on a skinnier guy than a fat guy.

Geez, now I know. So by getting off cocaine and gaining 25 pounds this last year, the fact that I look so much better now means jack shit ’cause now my penis looks even smaller than it did before. I’m not sure that was a complete sentence but because of my sudden sadness I don’t really give two shits…

I was trying to be clever and change the old Band-Aid commercial (”I’m stuck on Band-Aids, ’cause Band Aids stuck on me!) but I don’t think it worked.

Hey, you win some and you lose some. Too bad I’m on one hell of a losing streak.

Still I try. Is that worth nothing?

I’ve noticed one thing after getting Hustler Video DVDs in the mail as screeners: They like black chicks and young chicks. Wait, that’s two things. Actually, if you consider that they also like young black chicks it would be three things.

Man am I stoned right now…

So my Real College Girls #16 DVD came. I truly enjoy the idea of a female student needing money so she unleashes her inner-slut and takes on the whole English department. Or some stuck-up cheerleader passing out at a kegger and being violated by half the football team and their small steroid cocks. Actually, that one is considered rape so I take it back. Basically, I’m trying to say that I like scenarios where a college chick is coaxed into sucking dick. And I know that it ain’t real, that sure these chicks may be in college but what they’re portraying on film isn’t reality. But I like it anyway. So there.

Barely Legal is another series that I like from Hustler Video. I thought this series would die a fast death when Clive passed away, but thankfully his lovely wife Erica is there to take over her late-husband’s work and sometimes I’m unable to tell where his work ended and hers began because she has the game down boy howdy let me tell you! What I’m trying to say is that yes, I watched Barely Legal Little Runaways, and yes, it excited me, and yes, I went and locked my bedroom door, and yes, I pulled my pants down, and yes, I touched myself with the moon glowing through the trees and the neighbor’s cat hunting some rat in the yard, and yes, I remember walking away with a smile on my face.

The last time I saw Hillary was the day I spent with her for a Hustler article I was writing a few years back.

It seems that since she signed a contract with SexZ Pictures she’s been in hiding.

Apparently they were just waiting for the perfect movie for Hillary to star in.

It seems they found that movie. It’s called ICON, and knowing what the company did with Corruption and Upload I’m guessing this flick will be one hell of a slippery ride into Cumsville.

(Sorry ’bout that last one, kiddies, I’m kinda stoned right now and not thinking very smartily…)

Anyhoo, the film comes out on September 30th of this year, and promises to be a huge hit knowing the people involved in it and their success over the years.

You can check out the movie trailer HERE

ICON stars Hillary Scott, Jennifer Dark, Tori Black, Morgan Layne, Trinity Post, Trina Michaels, Holly Wellin, Heidi Mayne and nine horny dudes and will be in stores September 30th from SexZ Pictures.

Mike South (the fat ass moron from Georgia who some have mistaken for Bigfoot) admitted today that he RECEIVES (current tense) money from Adam & Eve as part of Kayden Kross’s deal with Adam & Eve.

So what have we learned? South is a schill for both Adam & Eve and Kross, therefore he lubes up his own asshole, puckers up and pushes out anything they want him to say. Anything he says in the Kross matter is completely with bias, hence he has zero credibility (not that he ever had any to begin with).

South also mentions that Gene Ross is a schill for dealing with the likes of John Bone and Rob Black, funny thing is I think that Ross has reported more negative articles about both than positive. Ross takes advertising revenues because he’s in business to make money, but he also REPORTS THE FACTS.

South is quoted as saying

I perform a service for which I am compensated, that’s called doing business. I am HIGHLY selective about whom I will help. If you seek my services you must fit the criteria I have established, and they are extraordinarily tough.

Well Mikey, you tub of Georgia lard, looks like your “tough criteria” needs to be re-evaluated!!

Adam & Eve has issued a statement (allegedly) regarding contract star Kayden Kross’s legal issues….

from adultfyi.com - This issue is being fueled by an ex-boyfriend who has been charged on multiple occasions and is a convicted domestic abuser. Ms. Kross’ case will be vigorously defended and she is looking forward to her day in court to expose the truth and clear her name of any wrongdoing.

Someone at Adam & Eve is in the dark, or perhaps it was Mike South issuing this statement.

This case has zero to do with the ex-boyfriend. This case stems from a complaint filed by a disabled veteran who was swindled. Read the interview below with the VICTIM of this alleged crime, and see if the ex-boyfriends name comes up once. The only participation the ex-bf has with this case is that he was contacted by Federal Investigators and subjected to 4 hours of questioning related to Kayden because of their time together.

So for A&E or anyone else to claim this “all stems” from an angry ex-boyfriend, sounds like a pretty lame excuse. I think the FBI is a little bit more sophisticated than to build an entire case upon a jilted boyfriends tales. If the Department of Justice indicts, and the FBI arrests…. there’s a pretty strong case!!!! Someone go and tell Mike South and Adam & Eve what the Federal Conviction rate is, last check it was about 97%!!! They don’t go after you until their case is UNBEATABLE!

A few years ago while TR was still a performer in the sex business, a guy she had recently worked with called and told her that he had tested positive for gonorrea, and that she should probably go down and take care of it before it got bad.

Taylor, I found out that day, hates needles. Especially really long ones. Almost to the point of tears, but always to the point of having a tantrum.

So I went down to “Dr.” Riggs’ office with TR as support. She was told she was going to need a shot in the butt from a huge needle. With her jeans around her ankles, Taylor was being chased by one of the nurses and the enormous needle. It took 20 minutes and some tears before they finally stuck the needle into her skin.

It has been even worse with the dentist. I’ve almost had to carry her into the office ’cause she was so xanax’d out.

But that was then, and this is now.

Taylor just got some work done on a tooth, and I asked her how painful it was.

“Fuck that, dawg! After squeezing out a baby, there is no pain on Earth that scares me! Needles are a piece of cake! Speaking of, I think I’d like a piece of cake right now…”

I got an email from my old buddy Mystery Cock AKA J. Nocera who along with his family owns many Boston area restaurants including the wonderful Chateau in Waltham.

Apparently, J. is interested in UFOs. I for one think they’re completely bogus, that there is no way in hell they exist. And if they do, why would they change with the times, like how the 1950 UFOs are all box-like and simple but the ones we “see” now are all sleak and updated? Aren’t these cultures supposed to be millions of years ahead of us? How could 60 Earth years mean any advancement on their part?

I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong. But I’d like to meet a UFO witness who isn’t inbred. That would be quite rare.

So this is what Mystery Cock sends along:

Hello there
I have been doing allot of research on ufo`s in the last few years.
Let me assure you my friend, they are as real as our former drug problems and the rabbit hole goes
so fuckin deep you honestly have no idea.
In an effort to help get the truth out I would ask you please post this famous William Cooper speech
It cost him his life and i am sure you and your readers will enjoy.
 
See it here

 
Much thanks and love
Huckelberry Hamsauce AKA Mystery Cock AKA J.

Anything for you, Jason! Hey, remember when you fucked that whore in New Jersey and you left the used rubber on her doorknob knowing her mother was coming over? That ruled.

I spoke yesterday afternoon to T.J., the man who allegedly lost his house to Kayden Kross’ real estate scam.

Can you run through what happened?

About three years ago, I was hurt on the job. I was put on disablity, and was waiting for my workers comp check. Unfortunately, this put me in kind of a financial pickle.

I was informed of a deal I could make in which I could keep my house, but kind of a different program, where I sold the house, and then it was leased back to me for a designated term, and then I would buy the house back.

They worked it out so a buyer named Kim (Kayden Kross) was gonna buy the house, lease it back to us, and then at the end of the term would sell it back to me after I got my settlement from workers comp.

Little did I know at the time that Kim’s plan was to get the title and sell it, and to never pay the mortgage, even though we were paying her lease payments which almost covered her mortgage payment.

After a few months, I started getting mail from Washington Mutual for another name as the title owner. This is when I found out that Kim had sold the title to another person, who in turn took out a huge loan against the property.

Did she know about your situation, being disabled with a wife and four children?

Oh, yes! My wife and I spoke to her on the phone and met with her on a few occasions. She knew exactly what was at stake for us.

Do you think she knew from the start what she was going to do, or was it something that came later?

I believe she knew from the start what she was going to do to us, and didn’t really care about hurting us. From what I’ve been told, she had even taken some real estate courses. Either someone told her about this scam or she already knew about it. There is no doubt in my mind that she knew exactly what she was doing when she met us.

So what happened to you?

We were eventually kicked out of the house, about six months from the time we signed the deal to the time her mortgage company foreclosed on the house. They came to us saying, “this house is foreclosed by the owner.” And I said, “I’m still the owner!” But she never made payments, despite me paying her for months. She pocketed it all.

The mortgage broker Scott put my family up in a condo owned by someone he does business with. Eventually we had to move again on a moments notice. And I’m disabled!

You are also a war veteran?

Yes. I was in the Marines.

Well, thank you for that. Listen, Kim seems to think this is all Scott’s (the mortgage broker) fault.

No way. When Scott found out what was going on, he immedietly called the Sheriff’s Department to try and get it taken care of. He has been by my side since the beginning of this fiasco.

Last Question: What would you like to see happen to Kim?

I’d love for her to make some restitutions. I owned that house for fifteen years. I was injured on the job, not by some foolish mistake. I was trying to get back on track when she took everything from me.

I’d also like to see Kim spend a long time in prison. She bilked me, she bilked the state and she bilked the federal government for taxes.

 Calls to Kayden, Adam & Eve and my weed dealer were not returned by press time.

Leave it to Florida to house a chick like this.

Kelly Lumadue, 33, was dumb enough to have sex with a five year old boy and videotape it.

A trashman found the videotapes and turned them into police. I’m wondering if they were labeled SEX WITH FIVE YEAR OLD ’cause how else would the trashman know unless he goes through people’s trash looking for good stuff like child porn.

Anyway, for Kelly this was her second trial for the crime of child molestation.

Kelly blamed it all on her husband, who is a photog. She said he made her fuck the little boy.

The little boy took the stand,  but says he couldn’t remember anything.

Didn’t matter, though, ’cause Kelly got like in prison.

Hopefully someone’s gonna rape her in prison…

I love this guy Ryan Rayzer over at my old stomping ground Lukeford.

The kid tries so hard, but he just keeps falling short.

Today he put up several stories related to the Kayden Kross incident, nothing like getting into the action 24 hours later!

Same for AVN, last night they post the story about Kayden and they seem to think it’s “breaking news” 10 hours after the fact, no wonder their magazine is now only relegated to bathroom reading material and their website is meaningless because it’s typically a day behind the news. There was a time when AVN was considered the gorilla of the industry, now it’s just a chimp..

But I digress.

So the little one, Rayzer, posts………

She is in jail and this is considered a very serious matter.

She’s not in jail, I mean if she were in jail that would have been cool, because it would have meant my interview with her yesterday was of the jailhouse variety. But I can assure you and the 11 readers you have left (me included) that she’s home, safe and sound, seeking advice from Mike South on her next move.

Okay, even with all the craziness surrounding Taylor and Keith’s new baby and the fact that fluids are flying and poop is everywhere, I find this quite disgusting.

Like, really disgusting.

French toast made with breast milk does not sound appetizing. Even in my worst drug-addled nightmares would I even even dream of something as wrong as this.

But the restaurant owner thinks otherwise. He believes that since most of us were raised on breast milk, it should be included in our diet.

Maybe if Pam Anderson was our waitress and we could squeeze fresh milk from her boobies using our teeth; then maybe we’d be willing to eat the food. Other than that, I hardly doubt this kind of place would work in the United States.

And ever since the Simpsons episode where the school was using rat milk instead of from a cow, I’ve kinda been scared of milk. Plus, Dez used to drink it all so I kinda fell out of love with it in general.

So, would you eat a breast milk omelet?

If you care about this story go HERE and read all about it

When I first came out to Los Angeles back in ‘95 to follow a woman and get hooked on meth, I chose to drive the 3,000 miles instead of just flying.

Not smart.

But I had a plan: I would get a bunch of cocaine, like a 1/2 ounce, and use it to drive straight across the country without stopping. That would save me tons of time and money, I thought.

But how could I safely drive and snort at the same time? Chopping up lines was out of the question, of course, or I wouldn’t be here right now writing this. I’d be dead in a horrible car crash. Coke bullet was out too, ’cause it would take too much time to reload it.

Then my brilliance kicked in. Why not wear a button down shirt that has a pocket, stuff the huge bag of coke in said pocket, and use a giant straw that reaches my nose? That way, every time I need a toot I could just stick the end of the straw into my nostril and snort. Amazing!

Safe and convienient! Boy was I a clever guy back then…

Anyway, according to new studies, it appears that texting while driving is noW considered more dangerous than driving while drunk or on drugs.

Normally, I would say that driving stoned on weed is the safest way to drive, and drunk is the worst. Using cocaine while driving is also pretty stupid, unless you use my proven technique.

Read all about it HERE

Dick Bandit here, I’m staying with my uncle Scott while my mother Taylor Rain spends some quality time with her newborn Emma Valentina. I wanted to report that I just overheard a very long and in-depth conversation between Fayner and the actual mortgage broker who was in the middle of the entire Kayden Kross case, he too has been charged in an indictment alongside Kayden.

He had a lot to say, and uncle Scott is pouring over his notes and typing away. So expect to that interview soon.

Not enough? Tomorrow uncle Scott has an appointment to speak to THE VICTIMS, in an exclusive interview which will be posted here.

The hillbilly mouth of the south weighs in from his ‘casa de redneck shack’ in Georgia….

By MikeSouth

Lots of stories going around about our own Kayden Kross.  I have been aware of this situation for some time and know all the details that the other guys aren’t getting.

Trust that what you may be reading on lesser sites is factually very incorrect. The facts will come out in time, meantime AVN has spoken with me about this and I expect they are going to cover it more in depth.  When it all gets settled rest assured Kayden will tell the story here.

Hey Mike South, you stupid redneck, step away from the keyboard and go head back into the Georgia woods with your pals looking for Bigfoot, “us real journalists” have this one covered. We here at the ‘lesser sites’ will continue reporting the news while you continue fornicating with tree bark. You pathetic dipshit.

And for your own information, you redneck sow, the information we have is direct from someone interviewed by the FBI, victim statements as well as court documents. Kayden will tell you the story there??? LOL, good for you moron, she already was interviewed for this site and made plenty of comments, blaming it all on her “naivete”.

Bend over Mike, the pig in the kitchen wants seconds.

Listen, we all do bad things from time to time. Some worse than others, of course, but who among us can honestly say they’ve never done something horrible?

Kayden Kross can’t.

Kayden Kross has been a bad, bad girl.

Kross, an Adam & Eve contract star and whose real name is none of your business, is expected in court on October 14th to be arraigned on charges like Grand Theft (PC 487 (A) FELONY) and real estate fraud (CCC1695.3 FELONY).

The case was filed with the Sacramento Superior Court on August 6, following an FBI investigation. Kayden was arrested at LAX following a trip to New Zealand [in her blog on ClubKayden.com, she wrote that the arrest stemmed from a custody battle over a dog].

And now Kayden waits to find out her fate.

But there must be more to this story. Right?

Okay, so I went digging for a source. And I found one. This is what my source tells me…

A disabled Veteran and his wife, along with their four children, lived in a house they could no longer afford. So the house went into forclosure. Bummer.

Kayden Kross knows a morgage broker, who in April of 2006 tells her of a family that needs help and would she like to do a foreclosure bailout on the house to both buy property and help out a family in need? Kayden says yes.

So now Kayden owns the house, and the family pays her rent. Everyone is happy.

Meanwhile, Kayden buys another house the same way, and takes a $30,000 loan on each house’s equity (at 125% interest) plus another $35,000 each to go into escrow accounts. In total, Kayden borrowed $130,000 against her new houses.

Then she vanished into thin air. The morgage payments on the houses stopped being paid, and the family was kicked out.

Meanwhile, Kayden went and sold the titles for the two houses for $10,000 a piece.

She now had $150,000 that didn’t really belong to her.

That’s where her trouble started.

And that’s pretty much where we stand until Kayden’s arraignment.

I spoke to Kayden this morning, and although she informed me her lawyer told her not to talk, she did say this: “Yes, these are the alligations against me. But there is no proof of it, and the court will agree. I’ve done nothing wrong. I was young and got caught up with a shitty morgage lender. I didn’t do anything to that family, we were all pulled in to a fraudulent scam.”

A call was made to Adam & Eve, but at this time I’ve received no reply.

I’m no expert, but I believe Kayden Kross could be doing up to five years if convicted.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

If you know Kayden’s real name, you can see her case information at www.saccourt.com

I got a call last night that I still have to check up on, but at the moment it looks as if a popular contract girl just got busted by the FEDS doing something very, very bad.

I’ll throw up the details as soon as they can be confirmed.

But this is good, kiddies, and not a joke. This tasty treat will be behind bars for many, many years, and the charge is not breaking hearts. She did some bad, bad shit.

More to come.

Listen, I’m all for personal freedoms to wear whatever you want. After living in South Beach Miami for a bit, I’m pretty sure nothing a man wears can faze me anymore. But there is one men’s trend I’ve never understood, never liked and always thought was the ultimate declaration of douchedom: baggy pants like the ones in the picture.

And maybe this is racist of me to say, but as this trend started with black men I’ve always wondered the reasoning behind this since so many black men are being chased by cops and rival gangs on a daily basis and having pants around your ankles doesn’t really help one escape from enemies.

Yeah, that may have been racist. But am I right? You don’t have to admit that I’m right.

Furthermore, who the hell wants to see a guy’s boxer shorts? How is that sexy? Or cool? Or fashionable?

I think it all started when some retarded kid in the ghetto couldn’t put his pants on right and the whole neighborhood thought it looked cool cause they were all smoking PCP that day and somehow it made it into malls in Woodland Hills, Calirornia.

Fuck!

But a town in Florida has made a “saggy pants law” that prohibits men from doing exactly what I’ve just been complaining about. Good for them. They even arrested some 17 year old kid for it.

But now a judge is saying the law is unconstitutional. I hate that word. Baggy pats with the boxers showing should be outlawed worldwide.

Does anyone agree?

Once, some years back, Taylor Rain was really mad at me for doing so much cocaine. Real mad.

I remember she grabbed my plate of blow and ran off into her bedroom. She returned without it. Obviously, like the addict I was, I went looking for it. She followed close behind yelling at me and calling me a loser cokehead. I didn’t care, I just wanted my drugs back.

Anyway, I found the plate pretty quick, which she didn’t like. As I walked back into the living room with it, she slammed a door into me, which made the plate of coke go flying into the air, eventually crashing to the floor.

There was coke all over the wood floor. I wasn’t happy. Taylor was. She laughed at me. I didn’t like that very much.

So what does an addict do? They drop to the ground and use their hand to get it into one big pile, then lower their face to it and snort it up off the floor.

I wasn’t gonna let her win, was I?

Unfortunately for me, there was tons of dog hair on the floor as well as the coke so when I snorted it I also got a ton of hair in my line. I wasn’t pleased.

So why this story?

I’ll tell you. Hold your horses.

I’m reading today about two young women who tried to board a plane from Jamaica to England with 5 pounds of cocaine stitched into wigs. They got caught, obviously, and admitted they got paid $4,000 each to transport the illegal drugs.

They’re fucked royally, but not as bad as the people who would have had to snort the hair-laced coke if they got through to England with the narcotic.

read abll about their stupidity HERE

We’ve all seen porn chicks over the years do some pretty silly things. Stupid, too. Many times. If I had the energy to sit here and write down all the retarded things I’ve seen porn girls do, I’d be here for a very long time and would probably get a massive headache I wouldn’t really enjoy.

So its safe to say that we all get the picture? That porn chicks usually do things a special needs kid would? That many of them would be better off wearing a safety helmet?

Yes.

Anyway, in my pro-dog anti-porn chick existence I constantly am looking for news stories that strengthen my position. It isn’t very hard on most days. Like today, for instance…

So this German Shephard in Arizona has an owner who has seizures, and yesterday when the man seized the dog was smart enough to run to the phone, pick it up and speed-dial the button for 9-1-1. He then barked and whimpered into the phone until the cops arrived.

Could a porn chick do this? Would she be able to know the correct button to hit on the phone? Would she be alert enough to even know that the guy was having a seizure?

Probably not, ’cause dogs are smarter than porn chicks. Cuter, too.

Read the amazing story here

Like I’ve said before, I’m wicked fucking psyched for the release of the Not Bewitched XXX flick. Rumor is this movie is so protected even the President of the United States couldn’t get an advanced copy if he wanted one. And I bet he does.

I wonder if this will be as big as the Brady Bunch spoof, which got all sorts of mainstream press. Most likely is my guess.

But I’ve been known to be wrong.

The trailer does look pretty funny. And J Mull I’m sure threw in some of his hilarious yet corny songs to add to what is already turning out to be a huge porn flick.

Anyway, in other news, I’ve been working on my acting in preperation for what I’m sure will be coming next year, the Silver Spoons porn. I wanna play the Ricky Schroeder role soooooo badly I can taste it. I’ll even fuck a black dude in the movie if I have to, ’cause wasn’t there an episode where The Ricker and Alfonso pound each others’ ass? I seem to recall there was one…

Check out the newest Not Bewitched trailer HERE

The Jews have spent their whole existence fighting others, from Egypt and Rome to Nazis and the Arab world. It is a surprise that the race is still standing. Seriously.

But the times they are a changing, said a Jew named Dylan. And boy how they change!

I’m reading today about gangs in Jerusalem, ultra-Orthodox “modesty” squads, who patrol their streets and beat up those who do not follow the strict code of the Orthodox Jew. They bring fear to the neighborhoods they watch over, and those who live there call it an act of terror.

One woman was tied up and beaten because she wears pants and sees men in private.

Crazy, right?

I’m so thrilled I’m no longer a Jew ’cause now I can see them for how horrible they truly are.

Israel has enough problems without their own kind attacking them.

It’s a crazy world we live in.

I’m glad I’m now Catholic and don’t have to deal with being a Jew. At least the Catholics beat their own kind for good reasons like being a guy and wanting a fat cock in your mouth.

Now that’s a religion I can sink my teeth into!!!

Read all about it here

For years, ever since I can remember, I’ve told my mother that I hate the taste of vegetables. I’m sure I’m not the only one, either. Most men who enjoy things like vagina usually don’t like vegetables. Gay dudes LOVE vegetables, probably to shove them into their rectums. But I don’t want to be thinking about that at the moment…

So you know all the times you’ve heard a woman say, “Eat your vegetables! They’re good for you!”? Well, it is now time to find all them women and slap them across the face for making you eat all them harmful vegetables.

Yes, it is true, vegetables are bad for you. Scientists in Australia have discovered that becoming a vegetarian can lead to a shrinking of the brain!!

Really?

Yup.

You can read the whole thing HERE.

Just imagine how smart I’d be if my mother, Taylor and Staci didn’t make me eat all them fucking peas and carrots and corn! I think I’m gonna sue them all.

……………. but someone forgot to tell her it was her teeth that needed the work!!!!!!

We here at Fayner dot com wish Shy much continued success, now that she has new boobs look for Shy to take over the entire adult industry, as a performer, director, agent, dancer, accountant, therapist and all around incredible human being.

I doubt the new boobs will be enough of a distraction to miss the bottle opener!

It is always a good day when I hear that my good friend and one of the best porn directors ever Jonni Darkko is coming out with a new series.

Today is a good day. That means I heard today about his new series, titled Pound Pussy.

The first one stars Sindee Jennings, Tori Black and Kristina Rose. There are some more chicks, too, and lots of extras in the first disc. You can check out the trailer at Evil Angel.

Chances are your penis will be asking for this movie so you better go out and get it on September 15 or you’ll be sorry.

Many people and things have been blamed for 9/11, including the Jews, oil money and Dick Cheney.

And before today I could have seen any one of those things as the main reason 9/11 happened. But now, after the information I have been given, I must say that I know exactly why the planes crashed into the buidings that fateful day 7 years to the day.

It’s all Taylor Rain’s fault.

Well, not really, but sorta.

You see, at the time just before 9/11, young TR was not in porn, but in school to become a flight attendant. When the towers came down, she became too scared to fly all day and joined the adult industry.

It is safe to say that the government saw the potential in young Taylor, and forced those planes to crash so that she would have to take her clothes off and fuck for a living on camera.

It was a pretty clever idea, too.

Must have been Cheney’s, ’cause Bush is too dumb to come up with something that intricate.

**This story in no way makes light of the lost lives of September 11th. I’m just trying to add some humor to this sad day.

It probably didn’t work, so sorry.

Chances are you’d slit your ugly wife’s throat as she sleeps or in front of the children for the chance to pound Savanna Samson’s wonderful vagina.

Did you know that once a friend of mine who shall remain nameless called me from his phone that was inside Savanna’s asshole on speakerphone?

And what I’m about to say I feel badly about because Savanna is a nice gal and was once good friends with Taylor Rain so it is difficult for me here and I will choose my words carefully from now on.

You see, Savanna has a song out called Possession, which is a gay dance track I didn’t like listening to at all.

This song sucks. It spews Beginner all over it. The melody is third-rate, and the lyrics are about as insighful as Mr. T whatever that means.

Here is a sample of the lyrics

you try to change me

but no you cant change me

cause i I’m an obsession

and im not gonna be your possession

whooo!

uh huh!

come on!

Yeah!

whoo!

uh huh!

Scary how talented this chick is, huh?

Listen to it here

Many porn chicks have tried to make it in music. Many have failed. Savanna will be one of them. The only porn chick who has a chance of becoming a rock star is Monica Mayhem, and just like every one else trying to get famous in music her chances are not good.

I have somewhere like 500 Naughty America scenes saved on my computer for a rainy day, and it is a good thing too since my password has been revoked due to handing it out like candy to married friends back East who are drunk and not getting any from their cold wives.

Anyway, I decided to check out a couple dozen yesterday to see the plots being used to initiate sex and whether they are anywhere close to being realistic.

They aren’t.

Forget the older woman seducing her son’s best friend. It happens, just never like in these scenes. A friend of my mother’s once grabbed my cock in Nantucket some years back while we were having a dinner party and she came with me to walk Rhiannon. I planned to meet her later, but I guess because she was so old she fell asleep before I could fuck her and never answered her door. Believe me, I tried breaking in. But to have the young guy show up at the house to get his homework that he forgot and the mother is there saying, “I’ve always thought you were cute” and then the anal sex happens is just pure hog wash.

Forget the college girl needing an A and her teacher offering her his cock in trade. That happens, probably often, just not in the classroom where all these scenes take place. If what Naughty America claims in their scenes are true, then everyone would be a fucking teacher, that’s for sure.

The closest Naughty America comes to reality is in their college series, Fast Times at Naughty University. Only here are the scenarios anywhere close to being like what really happens. The girl gets dumped, then goes to cry on his friend’s shoulder. She feels vulerable, he slides his dick into her soft vagina.

I didn’t find any pizza guy scenes, but there were delivery guy plots (I remember back in my nightclub working days, there was an office manager named Lois - she used to blow Uriah Heep in the 70s and I think she sucked off Sting outside the Rat in Boston on their first tour - who blew a UPS guy in one of the back offices once) and real estate plots (yeah, I’m sure!) and a whole slew of dudes who just show up in a backyard only to find a sexy chick ready to fuck.

I don’t buy it, not one bit. My penis doesn’t mind as much, but he ain’t that smart.

I’d like to make a porn movie where the guy has to take the chick out four times to expensive dinners before finally getting some play. That would make me feel better about life in general.

Staci and Dez moved out of the house, which meant they were taking the big television and the sofas and the fridge with them. It makes sense.

But that meant I had to get all my shit out of the garage to replace what they took. The fridge, which hadn’t been cleaned before being stored away, was now quite nasty and green and inside was some weed butter TR had left in there way before she was pregnant.

So I cleaned it while my mother stood guard making sure I did a good job.

Anyway, when the movers were here, I asked them if they’d mind pulling my shit from the garage and putting it in the house.

What’s in it for us? they asked.

I ain’t got any money, I said.

Too bad, they said.

Well, I shot back…I do have a closet full of porn!

It’s a deal, they shouted.

They put my shit in the house. I gave them porn. Everyone was happy as a clam whatever that means.

Some of the porn I have to admit was less than good. Extreme Associates stuff from yesteryear, real bad shit. I also gave them MILF TRAINER by Hustler, which they truly seemed to jizz over as we stood in the driveway.

Just as they were leaving I remembered that they forgot to bring in the television which weighs around 200 pounds.

Hey guys! You forgot the t.v.!

You forgot to give us more better porn! they said.

So back I went to my closet of filth and grabbed a bunch of Hustler titles for them. When they saw the huge pile of DVDs they hoisted the television and ran it to where it belonged then grabbed the porn and left.

And that is how Hustler Video saved the day

Something I forgot to talk about the other day when I was writing about Nick Manning was that he had ass cleavage.

Now I remember clearly many years back (or maybe just a few) when Kisten Price first introduced me to ass cleavage. Or at least the term “ass cleavage.” I always called it plumber butt.

Anyway, ass cleavage is here to stay and I promise I won’t complain about it as long as it is just done by women with fine asses.

So what do you know? Nick Manning walks in my house with his old new jeans which make me sick just thinking about a man following jean trends like making them look like you’re cool and have worn-in jeans but I digress even though I don’t know what that means…

and Nick had fucking ass cleavage!

A guy who doesn’t plumb for a living with ass cleavage!

I find and found and will continue to find this a disgusting sight.

If you see Nick punch him in the face for me.

Being that I’ve found JESUS and no longer am a Jew, I feel it is now my non-Jew responsibility to hate the Jews.

Right? Everyone hates the Jews who isn’t one, that’s the game, right?

Yup.

So now I hate the Jews. Smelly, ugly people with webbed feet and hairy ears.

Ewww!!

Anyway, I was reading today about a city named Dothan in Alabama that is offering Jewish families $50,000 to move there.

Now I heard about Alaska and the money they pay ANYONE who moves there, but paying Jews to move to Alabama for money?

This is awesome, as since I am no longer a Jew I obviously do not want them around me at all. And if someone is offering a Jew free money to do something you can bet your bottom dollar they’ll do it.

That’s how Jews are.

Gross.

Read the whole story here and tell all your Jewish friends about this so they’ll leave LA and Boston and NYC and Miami and go die in Alabama.

Nick Manning is hotter than you. He’s hotter than me. He’s almost hotter than Brad Pitt. That’s how awesome he is.

So obviously I was super stoked when Nick walked up my driveway yesterday to shoot a scene I allowed to be done inside that my good pal Barrett Blade was directing for Massage Parlor. Nick looked as handsome as ever, wearing a very tight shirt that looked to me to be made of mesh. I asked Nick if he’d wear a mesh tank top half-shirt if I got him one. He said no.

Anyway, I asked Nick what happened to the guy who a few years ago tried robbing Nick’s car only to stab Nick in the neck with a pen before Nick finally beat him up.

“Well, after his month-long stint in the hospital, the cops released him. Stupid move, ’cause apparently he went right out and stole another car!”

I also caught Nick all oiled up topless in the driveway checking himself out in a window and smiling. I’m not sure he saw me seeing him, but either way he didn’t stop until he had enough of staring at his glistening muscles.

That is all.

Okay, here’s the deal: I’m sick and tired of Luke Ford the actual person being known as the Jew who writes about porn.

I’m the real Jew, 100% running through my blood, and here he is some Australian who converted to Judiasm and he is the Jewish porn writer?

That sucks for me, especially since I’ve just been told by my father that during WW2 my grandfather’s whole family was brought to Aushwitz and killed while he was sent to a work camp which he eventually fled and carried on the family.

How is that for a Jew? Did that happen to Luke Ford? I don’t think so. The most that’s happened to his family is that a kangaroo kicked his uncle Mert in the balls.

Hardly compares.

So I’ve thought long and hard about this and have decided to become a child of Christ.

Now maybe I’ll be known as the Catholic porn writer!

So I had to change some of my thought to cater to my new religion.

HATE FAGS EVEN WHEN THEY’RE YOUR CHILDREN

Check!

HATE ABORTIONS EVEN AFTER RAPE

Check!

HATE ANY OTHER GOD BY JESUS!

Check

This new religion is sweet. Jesus rocks!!!

Also, with the birth of Taylor’s daughter I’ve learned to see that the only thing that could create something so wonderful is Jesus Christ!

So I know I said I was gonna stop doing this bullshit I’ve been doing for many years now, but truthfully I believe I would miss it and you all a great deal and therefore am giving it another shot.

Sorry I’ve been gone so long, but I’ve been dealing with my mother coming to visit, Staci and Dez moving out, three crazy dogs moving in and something else I can’t remember..oh yeah, my best friend Taylor Rain having a baby.

But I’m back. I may or may not have found Jesus. You’ll soon know the answer….